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Donald Trump promises to deport all immigrants “back to Alaska”


EDISON, NJ – During a recent tour stop in New Jersey, Donald Trump made his stance clear on immigration and what he plans on doing about it.


“I want to make America great again,” Trump states to much fan-fare. “These vague, pandering statements are more than just hot air to me. I will start by deporting all immigrants, legal and otherwise. I hate immigrants! I was at Taco Bell yesterday ordering tasty Mexican food and some Mexican was taking my order! I put on the appropriate rubber gloves and a hazmat suit to enjoy my meal.  Mexicans.  Go back to Alaska already!”

When politely informed Alaska is part of America, Trump disagreed.

“Look, fart-face. Alaska is on top of Canada, which is on top of Yugoslavia, which is on top of South Africa.  Alaska is way down there beside Atlantis. How can that be a part of America when Mexican City, Alaska is in the state of Japan. That’s where Mexicans come from! You’re fired!”

Trump’s wife, Melania, is an immigrant from Slovenia.  When asked if she would be included in the deportation despite her legal immigration status, Trump stood his ground.  “Yes, that includes my wife.  In fact, this especially includes my wife.”


6 comments on “Donald Trump promises to deport all immigrants “back to Alaska”

  1. Jp
    August 5, 2016

    Like this is a big deal.. The immigrants would just start picking ice balls for their overlords.


  2. William, of the Enlightened
    February 17, 2016

    This entire page is imaginary bullshit. Created by a crackhead or a meth addict on a mean tweak for a fresh bump?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. David Manson
    February 15, 2016

    ** “It’s hard to fill a cup that is already full.” Apologies for the misprint.


  4. David Manson
    February 15, 2016

    My dear Donald, if you go back far enough, your family are just like mine, a bunch of immigrants. Suggest you go take in a history with the native population in this country. They might be able to enlighten you. However, you may find them saying something similar to the Na’vi, “It’s fill a cup that is already full.”


  5. Anna Lacke
    September 2, 2015

    This is the funniest thing I have ever read.


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This entry was posted on September 1, 2015 by in Dave Weasel, Politics, Top 10.

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