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Woman arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurant

DAVE WEZL

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Police and fire-paramedics were called to a restaurant when it had to close its doors early on Tuesday evening after a woman spent 45 minutes in the bathroom causing ‘unbearable, inhuman stench’.

stinky

The 34 year old woman kicked open the restaurant doors, shouting “out of the way, I’m prairie-dogging!” and ran through the dining area, which was at capacity.

“We were so crowded, people were waiting up to two hours for a table,” says the hostess. “In comes this crazy woman, already smelling like she dumped her pants, running towards the bathroom.”

One customer adds, “I couldn’t breathe. I knew she was in there blasting fudge monkeys, but the smell was toxic. I had to take my son to the hospital, they thought he was exposed to sulphur. This woman is a monster, human beings are not capable of something so foul.”

The first responding firefighters had to go in with oxygen tanks. “Never in my 30 years on the job have I seen anything so rancid,” states the Fire Chief. “It was dangerous sending my guys in there, but we had to rescue the 200+ people trapped and unable to move. These men are heroes.”

The woman was arrested for domestic terrorism and held on $4 000 000 bail.

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292 comments on “Woman arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurant

  1. Russ Minotaur
    October 30, 2016

    If she was arrested for this shouldn’t the heads of america’s media be arrested for subjecting America to Donald trump for a year?

    Like

  2. “out of the way, I’m prairie-dogging!” ROTFLOL!!!

    Like

  3. tflndn
    October 4, 2016

    Give that woman a trophy lmfao , and the writer.

    Like

  4. Peter
    September 12, 2016

    Apparently, this site is where one’s sense of humor comes to die. Lighten up, folks. No one forced you to read it.

    Like

  5. James
    August 25, 2016

    Blah blah blah but we all took the time to read it js carry-on

    Like

  6. Jelly
    August 20, 2016

    Who reads this crap? There should seriously a ban on f****** idiot writers

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dave Weasel
      August 21, 2016

      They really should “seriously a ban”. I agree.

      Like

    • charlotte beal
      October 30, 2016

      You mean “flatulance” ?

      Like

  7. Melvin
    August 20, 2016

    Do people seriously have nothing better to write about? People who come up with these stories are bottom feeders themselves and seriously dysfunctional assholes. Nobody wants to read about your s*** stories go back to f****** school and learn how to write something for real. Learn how to write assholes

    Like

    • R page
      October 4, 2016

      But you did so you’re a bottom feeder reader

      Like

    • Dusty Struthers
      October 30, 2016

      Grow a sense of humor, MELVIN.

      Like

  8. Melvin
    August 20, 2016

    Do people seriously have nothing better to write about? People who come up with these stories are bottom feeders themselves and seriously dysfunctional assholes. Nobody wants to read about your s*** stories go back to f****** school and learn how to write something for real.

    Like

  9. Disgusted
    August 9, 2016

    I know a Bosun’s Mate whose shits were THAT BAD. Had to wear an MCU-2P (Navy gas mask) when entering the berthing compartment. Still doesn’t top the Master Chief whose farts could clear the fantail of a Navy ship with a 25 knot head wind.

    Like

  10. Steve
    August 7, 2016

    I have been accused of making a marine gag after Nuking a toilet… Have made people run out of places due to stench, but to be arrested for something natural I call Bull Shit

    Like

    • annbroadheadverionnet
      August 8, 2016

      Close to Iowa City and also a liberal progressive hotbed!
      Ha ha ha! Just wait till she stinks up the jail!!!!! Ha ha ha!!!!

      Like

      • Bilbo
        August 9, 2016

        I heard she was one of those uneducated bottom feeders they call conservatives…fresh in from the conservative backwoods.

        Like

      • annbroadheadverionnet
        August 9, 2016

        Ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha……….

        Like

  11. Jeff
    August 6, 2016

    So I’d like to know who the mug shot volunteer is here. Though the story is made up, her future dates will always connote her with putrid effluent.

    Like

  12. Is she a Junkie or a vegetarian

    Like

  13. Brad
    August 6, 2016

    Sounds like she is Celiac. When you have it and eat gluten, there isn’t a smell like it!

    Like

  14. Kristen
    August 6, 2016

    So I think this is stupid. Like how would you even arrest someone for having to take a shit ? Would you wanna shit on yourself ? Yeah I didn’t think so . Well I mean there ARE some people who are into that kinda shit (no pun intended) . But really . Lol I like how the people inside were acting like they’ve never smelled shit before. But I’ll tell you right now , I bet all the people inside had to go take a fat shit after that meal they were inhaling . Lol some probably even took it at the same exact place . Stupid people ..

    Like

    • Sherri
      August 6, 2016

      It is stupid, and of course, no truth, (although you’d be surprised how many people actually DO believe it) but these stories are funny as shit sometime (no pun intended🙂

      Like

  15. pauline hatton
    August 6, 2016

    I know these stories aren’t true but they are bloody funny. They’ve made my day 😁😆

    Like

  16. Dde
    August 5, 2016

    Since when do you get arrested for shitting out sum stanky shit held on 4 million dollar bail yeah whatever

    Like

  17. The Real Real
    August 5, 2016

    No. It’s NOT an authentic story.

    Like

  18. GLORIA MILLARD
    August 5, 2016

    YOU KNOW I TAKE SUCH SMELLY CRAPPERS THAT I BELIEVE I COULD CHASE ALL OF YOU OFF THIS PAGE IF I WANTED HAHA

    Like

  19. Susy Yardley
    August 5, 2016

    I dont believe this story, I call bullshit

    Like

  20. Alex Toasteroven
    August 5, 2016

    could have used her as a friend when I was in Job Corps 20 years ago, there was some rancid MFs back then.. shit like pickled pigs feet, jar after jar for days and weeks.. ewwww!! you could see the fart that burned your eyes and lungs..

    Like

  21. Rick Bohan
    August 5, 2016

    Also the tanks that firefighters carry are not oxygen they are just air.

    Like

    • Sjd
      August 6, 2016

      They Carry Oxygen for Patients

      Like

    • Cap'n Tightpants
      August 6, 2016

      What do you think “air” is?

      Like

      • Warren Searfoss
        September 4, 2016

        there is a difference between air and oxygen. air is what you breathe …. oxygen is just one part of what you breathe.. the important part so just carrying oxygen you dont need as big of a container

        Like

  22. Lee
    August 5, 2016

    This is parody news people. not real. Now google “mc nuggets rage woman” and you will find the above mugshot. That story is nuts and it IS true.

    Like

  23. Mary Ann McCuin
    August 5, 2016

    Why would the fire department have to save the 200 people. They couldn’t walk out on their own? Why didn’t people leave when she first ran in,? This is just crazy

    Like

  24. Jp
    August 5, 2016

    I made a chinese guy gag with a fart in the Space Mountain ride at Disney world.. Does that count?

    Like

  25. Calista
    August 5, 2016

    Nice going Melody.

    Like

  26. Frank Napoli
    August 5, 2016

    Smells like a total BULLSHIT story

    Like

  27. Kawie
    August 4, 2016

    Bullshit story

    Like

  28. sammy
    August 4, 2016

    how the fuck story makes no sense she was in the bathroom yet the firefighters had to go in and save the 2oo plus trapped inside? how were they trapped unside? they couldn’t get up and walk out? i smell bullshit

    Like

  29. Tyessa
    August 4, 2016

    Lmaoooooooooo I’m so weaaaaaaak wth is this real??!

    Like

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This entry was posted on September 1, 2015 by in Crime, Dave Weasel, News, Top 10.

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