Advertisements

Woman arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurant


DAVE WEASEL

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA – Police and fire-paramedics were called to a restaurant when it had to close its doors early on Tuesday evening after a woman spent 45 minutes in the bathroom causing ‘unbearable, inhuman stench’.

The 34 year old woman kicked open the restaurant doors, shouting “out of the way, I’m prairie-dogging!” and ran through the dining area, which was at capacity.

“We were so crowded, people were waiting up to two hours for a table,” says the hostess. “In comes this crazy woman, already smelling like she dumped her pants, running towards the bathroom.”

One customer adds, “I couldn’t breathe. I knew she was in there blasting fudge monkeys, but the smell was toxic. I had to take my son to the hospital, they thought he was exposed to sulphur. This woman is a monster, human beings are not capable of something so foul.”

The first responding firefighters had to go in with oxygen tanks. “Never in my 30 years on the job have I seen anything so rancid,” states the Fire Chief. “It was dangerous sending my guys in there, but we had to rescue the 200+ people trapped and unable to move. These men are heroes.”

The woman was arrested for domestic terrorism and held on $4 000 000 bail.

Follow the author on  Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Facebook Comments
Advertisements
Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

What others say about : Woman arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurant..


john digilio

i had a friend who asked to use the bathroom after eating 6 hardboiled eggs and drank a few beers , even when he passed gas was bad then when took a crap had to leave my apartment for a half hour could not get the smell out

Pat Welch

For those of you who do not know what this means (like me) I looked it up:

PRARIE DOGGING:
When you have to drop a load so bad, the head of the turd keeps poking out of your ass then slipping back in. Similar to how a prairie dog pops up and down in their hole, appearing and disappearing.

Jodie

Even better, she was arrested for punching “through a McDonald’s drive-through window because she couldn’t get Chicken McNuggets.”

NobodysaysBOO

There may be a position open for this talented girl on the British formation farting team;however, they seldom allow women in competitions, the demonstration team gives formation farting demonstrations and drills to rally support for the international competitions.

Front row seats are revered for judges only. ALL international rules apply.

Ed

she undoubtedly has CDEF. that is an infection in the bowels that produces toxic fumes. they cannot help it and it need very quick attention or it can be fatal. my sister had it a few years back and they had to quarantine her in the hospital and it is contagious.

Jim

In regards to the post on ‘woman stinking up restaraunt’: I was south of San Antonio one day at a truck stop Burger King and as I was waiting at the counter I noticed a stinch in the air… when I sat down to eat I noticed one guy sitting by himself and NOT with his other company employees of 6…the stinch was so bad in the place I had to leave and finish eating in the truck..true story, no BS!

Joe Hymewyce

I personally know this girl… she is also responsible for a viral video called “Mcnugget rampage” it happened in Toledo Ohio and made national news. If you haven’t seen this….. you are missing some funny/crazy video!

Missy

If this is true, those who called the police and paramedics are morons. But, I doubt very seriously that its real. Either way.. ‘when you gotta go, you gotta go.’

lgbpop

Thanks for the laugh. Whether true or not, it’s funny. I’ve known guys who could do this. Gals can outdo guys at anything ~

Guillermo

prairie dogging
When you have to drop a load so bad, the head of the turd keeps poking out of your ass then slipping back in. Similar to how a prairie dog pops up and down in their hole, appearing and disappearing.
We have been driving for two hours. I am prairie dogging a deuce. If you don’t stop it will explode out into my boxers.

Rembrant

And… it MIGHT be Domestic terrorism. i drove a few DAYS on I-80……I left Prairee dogs the size of a MALEMUTE at a few truck stops. NONE were enough to evacuate the place.

Maree

I do not believe one single word of this story.Arrested for domestic terrorism and and bail of $4,000.000.No one would spend 45 minutes in a toilet either.What rubbish.

Beth Durbin-Alvarenga

Calm down people. This website makes fake news stories. It’s a joke, you are supposed to laugh at the humor, not get pissed that it’s fake. The disclaimer on the website clearly states -Some of these stories my be exaggerated, embellished or an outright work of fiction. Use proper judgment when reading anything on the internet. Share, but do not repost content without permission.

KelleyGrace

Its fake. This is the lady who stopped at a drive thru window and fought the employee over chicken nuggets.. And that’s the real story!

carrie

Saw that too, she’s an idiot either way. Same photo, both stories, Obviously, not 34 y.o. in the other story.

Allen Benge

I have to agree with the consensus of fake nonsense. I have been a deputy sheriff and an EMT and worked in a state prison. Human beings do produce some ‘something crawled up in you and died’ smells, but this story doesn’t fly.

Debbie Turner

Everyone who is suspicious about this story or even down right irritated because it just can’t be true would click on the “about” button that tells you about the site, you would realize that of course it’s BS. It’s supposed to be.

Billy

Get off this dudes dicks!!!
Love how easy it is for you scum bags to disrespect a man in uniform !!!!! That same man would take a bullet for a random civilian !! it kills me cuz as soon as on of you loser gets there house broke into or if God for bid it goes up in flames !!, the very first person you would call is 911 lmao !!! How dare you call him dim witted lol !!?? The only dumb fucks are any one who disrespects some one for no reason but then do that to a man who chose to save lives and protect for penny on the dollar!!!??? Your a fuck up !! I hope you are able to reproduce !! This world would be sooo much better with out stupid fucks like you !!!!!
SO SO SO SO SO SORRY ALLEN BENGE FOR THE DISRESPECT POLICE OFFICERS GO THROUGH DAILY !! Thank you so much for keeping this country safe !!! Men and Women like make me proud at be an American

Sean Hafeman

Men in uniform give bullets to random strangers now days more often than taking them. No offense, but just having that position in itself does not deserve respect in my opinion. No cop has ever helped me or solved any problems that I’ve personally witnessed, only created new problems to mask the original ones. Granted the police themselves aren’t always as much to blame as unjust laws, but when they make a decision to enforce laws even when unjust,
they become part of the problem. Over time, so many Americans have been persecuted by our legal system that the position has earned a bad rep. Police are no longer public servants.

Codi Curtis

100% agree with you! God bless ya’ll and my thanks and loves to all of the men and women in uniform that serve and protect us citizens and even protecting and serving the jackasses that don’t deserve your respect and the daily service your provide us. #PoliceLivesMatter. God bless the blues! Thank you!

Lee

I bet she sure was on them some kinda loose weight pills. Sorry the stinker, we sure hope she ok. (southern yanky voice).

AJ

“The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joy.”

Torry

Haha although this story is funny, totally not true. I’m front toledo where the girl in the picture actually did do that to a mcdonalds worker. Stay classy ohio!

Dan

Wow, you’re calling bullshit on a satire site? Are you a detective on your local police force?

Rembrant

Well… maybe SUPER-Bullshit? I can do a VERY nasty dump.. but…oxygen tanks? NO way. I LOVE the tall tale. But… the woman in the photo may now be a local legend.

Donna Gallnitz-Frisoska

Ink my daughter one time had so much gas we couldn’t close her bedroom door be cuz the other girls were claiming that they couldn’t breathe. Let me tell you, I couldn’t have slept in there with that smell…lol

Obama to recruit group of ‘super geniuses’ from comment sections of satire articles | The Valley Report

[…] them, no matter how ridiculous and sometimes stupid they are. “There was something about a woman farting in a restaurant. I see no humour in that. By producing gas and hot air that deadly,  she could’ve been with […]

PreviousNext

Leave a Reply

Shares