Parents outraged as ‘Baby Cage’ generates $2 million on Kickstarter


DAVE WEASEL

JACKSON, MS – Child safety groups and parents around the world are fuming after Mississippi entrepreneur raised $2 000 000 on the crowdfunding website Kickstarter.

Baby Cage

“This is beyond cruel,” states one of the advocates against Baby Cage. “When I first heard of it, I thought it was a joke. But then I saw it in more and more homes and it made me sick. Anyone who uses or supports this product is participating in child abuse.”

Garet Sigfusson, the campaign creator and Baby Cage engineer is letting the criticism roll off his back.  “People tell me all the time this is ‘inhumane’.  This isn’t for parents who want to raise their child properly, this is for parents who want to #party! Some of us were not ready to be parents, but we were forced into this role. Any money I spend on a babysitter comes out of my crystal meth budget. I’m not going to let the burden of responsibility wear me down, man.”

Sigfusson released a statement regarding the safety concerns. “If you’re worried your baby won’t like it, It comes with a kevlar carrying case that blocks out all light and sound so you won’t be able to hear him scream. Also, I built these out of refurbished bird cages but I filed down most of the sharp corners. Problem solved! Let’s party! First line is on me!”

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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