BURLINGTON, VT – A 31-year-old man has been permanently locked out of his Facebook account after it was revealed he failed to post a status about the sandwich he bought for a homeless man.
“I didn’t really think anything of it, the guy looked hungry so I bought him something to eat,” says the banned man. “I was at 7-11 anyway, I picked him up a sub and gave it to him. I didn’t realize I was socially obligated to brag about it on Facebook.”
“It goes further than that,” states the leader of watchdog group Good Deeds For Validation. “There is no point in random acts of kindness to your fellow man unless you can show everyone what a decent person you are. For every like you get, it represents one extra slave you will have in heaven. I have a short window between my daily NAMBLA meetings and visits to my drug dealer but I always take the time to give a starving person a Snickers bar and post about it on Facebook, Twitter, email my mom, text pictures of it to my ex girlfriends then take a dump in a public washroom and lock the door for everyone to smell my kindness.”
[photo taken from the man’s now defunct profile, taken by Joey Senft]