LOS ANGELES, CA – The ownership rights to every Limp Bizkit song have been sold this afternoon to an undisclosed bidder for $12.
“I was hoping for a bit more,” states frontman Fred Durst. “We made millions in the late 90’s, but I figure a pack of smokes and a 40oz bottle of malt beer is still a good haul.”
The unknown bidder agreed to make a statement if his identity isn’t revealed. “I really wasn’t there for the ‘rap-metal’ genre crossing abortion they caused. Maybe in 20 years people will listen to it ironically. Probably not, though. I wonder if I can get my $12 back.”
Since the purchase of the catalog the buyer has ceased any permissible performances and broadcasts of the music, obtaining a Nobel Prize nomination for his efforts.