MILWAUKEE, WI – A devastated 31-year-old man is left without his beloved pet hamster after his girlfriend flushed it down the toilet because he ‘liked’ another woman’s profile picture on Facebook.
According to police, the woman saw the image on her news feed and squeezed her phone so hard it shattered. “I’ve never seen a criminal act of jealousy like this,” states the arresting officer. “After she confronted the man, she knocked over his hamster cage, picked the little guy up, threw him in the toilet and flushed it down.”
Animal rights activists have been protesting outside her house and place of employment. “This woman needs psychological help and prison time,” states a protester holding a sign that reads ‘Justice For Dr. Snuggles. “Acts like this are intolerable against animals. It’s ok for people, but not animals.”
The judge ruled the woman is to undergo 30 days in a psychiatric facility for evaluation before her trial. His Honour remarked “This disgusts me. I have a rodent farm of my own, over 70 hamsters are in my possession. I can’t imagine anything like this happening to them. I’m going to tell my judge buddies to give you to multiple years in the slammer upon your sentencing.”
The woman’s boyfriend was released from hospital after suffering near fatal wounds from a suicide attempt. He stated “I don’t want to live in this world with out Dr. Snuggles.”