The Valley Report

Newsworthy News

Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire


GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.


The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject. “Normally we go to Del Taco because of their $0.59 tacos, but we made some extra cash this week so we went to Chipotle. The farts you get from there could fill a gas chamber. I know he’s looking up from hell laughing his ass off saying it was worth it,” she says smiling through blackened teeth, apparently not caused by the fire.

The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond.

Follow the author on  Facebook | Twitter | Instagram


119 comments on “Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

  1. Leah VanZandt
    August 31, 2016

    Khal Drogo really let himself go didn’t he?????


  2. Joe Ritter
    August 8, 2016

    Too bad..and he was a Trump supporter


    • Patrick BeMent
      August 9, 2016

      Joe.. Go back to school. Earn a degree, Then you can quit blaming people that work 12 hours a day for you being a slacker.. Man up.


  3. Tara Faller
    August 7, 2016

    Omg this is the funniest shit I herd in awhile even know it’s fake. Chipotle is good but it does give you the


  4. Cathy Terrell
    August 2, 2016

    Who believes this shit?


  5. Pjfausett
    July 31, 2016

    Single guys? . . .She sounds like a real catch!


  6. Jee
    July 28, 2016

    Real life beat you to it. @TheOnion


    • Jee
      July 28, 2016

      Should of read before I commented I see


  7. kh
    July 23, 2016

    Lol is his picture before or after the explosion! Lmao


  8. Fuck You Faggot
    July 20, 2016

    Lolololol you are exactly the type of person this article is directed at, stupid and gullible whiny little cry baby.


    • MC Fever
      July 27, 2016

      oi yer a loser and dum an prolly a fekking arse bandit poofter jus fer havin thet name trust


      • ThisDumbAssHere
        August 2, 2016

        You stupid fuck, stay away from the keyboard until you can type in English.


  9. Faye Fliyd
    July 17, 2016

    One less slime ball and meth lab gone! Good Riddance! She (the wife) should have a ton of charges like destruction,deadly materials,meth lab,intoxicated is a light word for someone surviving,had just lost her husband and complaining only about her eyebrows giggling/laughing! She should be committed and or locked up on lock down! Like I said GOOD RIDDANCE !!!!!


  10. Jp
    July 17, 2016

    So the wife is single now???

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on February 13, 2016 by in News.

Do not watch this


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 6,235 other followers

%d bloggers like this: