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Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

DAVE WEASEL

GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.

anthony

The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject. “Normally we go to Del Taco because of their $0.59 tacos, but we made some extra cash this week so we went to Chipotle. The farts you get from there could fill a gas chamber. I know he’s looking up from hell laughing his ass off saying it was worth it,” she says smiling through blackened teeth, apparently not caused by the fire.

The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond.

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126 comments on “Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

  1. Dinker
    September 17, 2016

    he’s a Hillary supporter

    Like

  2. Dinker
    September 17, 2016

    Too bad he’s a Hillary supporter

    Like

  3. Pingback: W1 League Note: Take a Knee – CHIPPEWA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

  4. Suckadick
    September 10, 2016

    How do any of you believe this actually believe this shit?

    Like

  5. Donna Bittner
    September 7, 2016

    What he did was stupid! Don’t blame the person posting the article. And what does Trump have to do with this???

    Like

  6. Rodney Newell
    September 4, 2016

    And after reading this im still not any smarter than i was before. But thanks for the laugh

    Like

  7. Leah VanZandt
    August 31, 2016

    Khal Drogo really let himself go didn’t he?????

    Like

  8. Joe Ritter
    August 8, 2016

    Too bad..and he was a Trump supporter

    Like

    • Patrick BeMent
      August 9, 2016

      Joe.. Go back to school. Earn a degree, Then you can quit blaming people that work 12 hours a day for you being a slacker.. Man up.

      Like

    • Tim Rafferty
      September 4, 2016

      Joe, I hear they just left an orgy at one of the Clinton’s mansions payed for by foreign graft.

      Like

  9. Tara Faller
    August 7, 2016

    Omg this is the funniest shit I herd in awhile even know it’s fake. Chipotle is good but it does give you the farts.lol

    Like

  10. Cathy Terrell
    August 2, 2016

    Who believes this shit?

    Like

  11. Pjfausett
    July 31, 2016

    Single guys? . . .She sounds like a real catch!

    Like

  12. Jee
    July 28, 2016

    Real life beat you to it. @TheOnion

    Like

    • Jee
      July 28, 2016

      Should of read before I commented I see

      Like

  13. kh
    July 23, 2016

    Lol is his picture before or after the explosion! Lmao

    Like

  14. Fuck You Faggot
    July 20, 2016

    Lolololol you are exactly the type of person this article is directed at, stupid and gullible whiny little cry baby.

    Like

    • MC Fever
      July 27, 2016

      oi yer a loser and dum an prolly a fekking arse bandit poofter jus fer havin thet name trust

      Like

      • ThisDumbAssHere
        August 2, 2016

        You stupid fuck, stay away from the keyboard until you can type in English.

        Like

  15. Faye Fliyd
    July 17, 2016

    One less slime ball and meth lab gone! Good Riddance! She (the wife) should have a ton of charges like destruction,deadly materials,meth lab,intoxicated is a light word for someone surviving,had just lost her husband and complaining only about her eyebrows giggling/laughing! She should be committed and or locked up on lock down! Like I said GOOD RIDDANCE !!!!!

    Like

  16. Jp
    July 17, 2016

    So the wife is single now???

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on February 13, 2016 by in News.

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