Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire


DAVE WEASEL

GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.

anthony

The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject. “Normally we go to Del Taco because of their $0.59 tacos, but we made some extra cash this week so we went to Chipotle. The farts you get from there could fill a gas chamber. I know he’s looking up from hell laughing his ass off saying it was worth it,” she says smiling through blackened teeth, apparently not caused by the fire.

The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond.

Follow the author on  Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

 

Facebook Comments
Advertisements
Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

What others say about : Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire..


william boorn

Weasels lady shod try Campbell’s pork& beans next try,I swear yesterday those toots probably weighed out on a digital (may b an oz. or 2)

M.L. Daniels

Lmao i see from the comment section there is going to be several more “Blue Angels” ! Half the page has to be a fucktard convention reunion !!!

John Atkins

used to have many blue angel * party,s never caused a fire but one of the best was when my t friend Jake,s wife wanted to do it and igot a good look at her huge hairy cunt

tom

think the guy left any money to his wife? Remember the old saying, ” A 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2″.

Susan Marcus

This is why we cannot loose the right to speak freely. If it were not for this right I would have never known that I should probably wait for my eyebrows to grow back before I start dating again. The gooder news is I have a dentist appointment on 31 March at 8:30. RIP He ain’t heavy he’s my brother.

FlawidaJack2

Hey It’s Flawida and I am surrounded. But the stories, real and fake are fun. just never go to a convenience store after dark.

Wilda Kerney

Flatulence Didn’t Set off a Meth Lab Explosion
FACT CHECK FAKE NEWS
Posted Feb 16, 2016 by Dan Evon
A fake news article claimed that a man caused a meth lab explosion after lighting his own gas on fire.

Kim

Yes, some of my friends were very happy for his demise cheering for Darwin and congratulating him and his actions for removing himself from the gene pool.

Patrick BeMent

Joe.. Go back to school. Earn a degree, Then you can quit blaming people that work 12 hours a day for you being a slacker.. Man up.

Tara Faller

Omg this is the funniest shit I herd in awhile even know it’s fake. Chipotle is good but it does give you the farts.lol

Faye Fliyd

One less slime ball and meth lab gone! Good Riddance! She (the wife) should have a ton of charges like destruction,deadly materials,meth lab,intoxicated is a light word for someone surviving,had just lost her husband and complaining only about her eyebrows giggling/laughing! She should be committed and or locked up on lock down! Like I said GOOD RIDDANCE !!!!!

it’s all me

When you died it will be a relief on your family cause I bet u judge them and everyone around you and bitch about not getting fucked right people do fuck up sorry not everyone is not like u born a unsinful person so you have never got sick and took meds well that what it is like just he didn’t stop it is a disease allergy I’m sure no one in your family is a pothead pill head crackhead if I was in your family I had to be all of the Dill with you do the next time you want to say something about someone go buy a 21 in dildo and sit on it and set on it and fuck yourself k have and nene good fucking

Obscure: Episode 28: Strange Deaths – Nothing Normal Here

[…] to The Valley Report, the woman plans on suing Chipotle, claiming they failed to address their peppers causing a higher […]

Farts, Meth Labs and Florida don’t Mix – The Phantommullet

[…] Farts, Meth Labs and Florida don’t Mix […]

South Bend Indiana; Saturday; October 15, 2016 | South Bend Homeless Herald

[…] Florida man dies in meth lab explosion after lighting farts on fire […]

South Bend and Mishawaka, Indiana; Saturday; October 8, 2016 | Auntie Rona's Trans Blog

[…] Florida man dies in meth lab explosion after lighting farts on fire […]

Mishawaka, Indiana; Saturday; October 8, 2016 | Mishawaka Current

[…] Florida man dies in meth lab explosion after lighting farts on fire […]

LaPaz and Lakeville, Indiana; Saturday; October 8, 2016 | L & L Beacon

[…] Florida man dies in meth lab explosion after lighting farts on fire […]

South Bend, Indiana; Saturday; October 8, 2016 « South Bend Free Press

[…] Florida man dies in meth lab explosion after lighting farts on fire […]

South Bend Indiana; Saturday; October 8, 2016 | South Bend Homeless Herald

[…] Florida man dies in meth lab explosion after lighting farts on fire […]

Man dies in trailer home meth-lab explosion while lighting his farts on fire – Fifty State Banana

[…] I swear to fucking god this is the funniest thing I have ever read. I was crying, choking, and sweat… […]

W1 League Note: Take a Knee – CHIPPEWA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

[…] about ready to explode. Not quite like Elon Musk’s last rocket explosion but more like a typical Florida meth lab explosion. I’m so excited to see your ugly mugs that I’m even picking Dearolf up from the airport. But I […]

Previous
Leave a Reply
Shares