The Valley Report

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Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

DAVE WEASEL

GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.

anthony

The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject. “Normally we go to Del Taco because of their $0.59 tacos, but we made some extra cash this week so we went to Chipotle. The farts you get from there could fill a gas chamber. I know he’s looking up from hell laughing his ass off saying it was worth it,” she says smiling through blackened teeth, apparently not caused by the fire.

The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond.

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110 comments on “Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

  1. kh
    July 23, 2016

    Lol is his picture before or after the explosion! Lmao

    Like

  2. Fuck You Faggot
    July 20, 2016

    Lolololol you are exactly the type of person this article is directed at, stupid and gullible whiny little cry baby.

    Like

    • MC Fever
      July 27, 2016

      oi yer a loser and dum an prolly a fekking arse bandit poofter jus fer havin thet name trust

      Like

  3. Faye Fliyd
    July 17, 2016

    One less slime ball and meth lab gone! Good Riddance! She (the wife) should have a ton of charges like destruction,deadly materials,meth lab,intoxicated is a light word for someone surviving,had just lost her husband and complaining only about her eyebrows giggling/laughing! She should be committed and or locked up on lock down! Like I said GOOD RIDDANCE !!!!!

    Like

  4. Jp
    July 17, 2016

    So the wife is single now???

    Like

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This entry was posted on February 13, 2016 by in News.

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