Woman bites off husband’s ear for buying incorrect Valentine’s Day present


DAVE WEASEL

NIAGRA FALLS, NY – A woman is being held in psychiatric custody after lunging at her husband and biting his ear clean off because he brought home a different Valentine’s Day present than what she asked for.

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The 39-year-old mother to six cats and four dogs appeared very unapologetic while being apprehended. “I told that son of a bitch I wanted a carton of genuine Marlboro cigarettes, not that dumpster brand I always smoke,” stated the woman while picking a scab from a tattoo she gave herself earlier. “It’s not like he’s going to miss his ear, he doesn’t listen anyway.”

Police confirmed the man is in stable condition in a statement. “His ear was recovered but the surgeon was unable to reattach it. After his release from the hospital we have placed him under an involuntary psychiatric hold for marrying such an awful woman.”

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

What others say about : Woman bites off husband’s ear for buying incorrect Valentine’s Day present..


Todd James

Whatever. She obviously bit his ear off because she was hungry and the cigarettes were a coping mechanism for her husbands abuse. He didn’t bring home the proverbial bacon and she was starving–and much too dismayed and tired from the frequent sexual demands of her husband. Oprah did a one hour segment about it. The ACLU is behind her 100%

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