CHICAGO, IL – Amidst the chaotic protests at a recent Donald Trump rally, the republican candidate announced his newest television endeavour titled ‘Catapult’, which will document his quest of deporting undocumented immigrants.
“After we build the wall, we’re going to need something to fling them over it,” stated Trump. “I wanted to #TrumpThump them over with a big inflatable hammer, but my staff informed me that much like most of my ideas, it would only work in cartoons.”
The candidate continued, “It’s not just Mexico. My first act of president will be to put Ted Cruz in the big beautiful ‘Pult and launch him back to Canada and build a wall so he can’t get back in.”
When told Cruz has full American citizenship Trump replied, “Citizenship, schmitizenship. Tell that to my current wife who’re going to get put in the catapult big enough to launch her over the ocean.”