DALLAS, TX – Donald Trump had a change of heart -and plans- after his campaign crew stopped for lunch at a Mexican restaurant by mistake.
“I didn’t even want to go to that hell hole,” Trump said. “After two hours of thought and starvation I decided it wouldn’t kill us to eat at a Mexican place once. Probably. I was looking around for a white person who owned the place because none of my staff knew what the Spanish menu said. When I realized some Mexican came in and started the business only to give the jobs to Mexican-Amerians, I knew I had to guess. I ordered a horchata to drink because that’s what I called one of my mistresses in the 80s before she died of a coke overdose. I didn’t know the name meant anything, it was just my two favourite things about her.”
His campaign staff added, “Donald was so delighted with the drink. He made a few calls and bought some shares of it. He decided not to deport them anymore, because now Donald is taking credit for discovering horchata. He’s releasing his own brand of it called Horchatrump.”