The Valley Report

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Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream

MARY LAMBERT

SEATTLE, WA – A 28-year-old man is dead after his girlfriend beat him to death because she had a dream he cheated on her with a waitress at a golf course.

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According to police, the woman woke the man up to confront him. “It appears as though she did try to get a reasonable explanation from her boyfriend about why he was sleeping around on her in her sleep. When he said he couldn’t possibly know why she had a dream like that, she took out his nine iron and murdered him with it.”

“It still counts as cheating, even though it didn’t really happen,” the woman explained. “He said that was ridiculous, as though my horoscope and subconscious mind were wrong. He attacked my intuition as a woman so I defended myself with his golf club.”

The woman and her family are no strangers to police. Last year her sister stabbed her boyfriend because he didn’t like her selfie fast enough.

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101 comments on “Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream

  1. Oh man I got punked…just read the related articles

    Like

  2. Vinny Lyons
    April 14, 2017

    Pretty sure this is a “April Fool’s” article. There is no way in hell that this is real…not happening!!

    Like

  3. Rich Kelly
    April 12, 2017

    If it was a real story it would have names and court information.

    Like

  4. Anonymous
    April 11, 2017

    Talk about a psycho bitch.

    Like

  5. KennyD
    April 10, 2017

    This article is completely false and a smear on a wonderful woman who is a loving mother too. I dont know how these loser blog writers sleep easy knowing they are spreading lies for money at the expense of other peoples credibility without consent. This should be illegal!

    Like

    • Ray
      April 10, 2017

      Prove this is fake.

      Like

      • Stacy
        April 11, 2017

        It says in the DISCLAIMER this is not a legit news site.

        Like

    • Bam
      April 11, 2017

      It is illegal it’s call slander .

      Like

      • Really?
        April 11, 2017

        It can’t be slander if no names were used…

        Liked by 1 person

    • Tyler
      April 11, 2017

      It is illegal depending on certain circumstances, it’s called slander/defamation of character. She just has to prove it’s false (should be easy if he is alive) and that this has ruined her name, credibility, ability to find or keep employment. Also things like the mental and emotional damage to her and her family help.

      Like

      • Hey, Sparky!! If you click “Disclaimer” –

        “Some of these stories may be exaggerated, embellished or an outright work of fiction. Use proper judgment when reading anything on the internet. Share anywhere you want, but do not repost content without permission.”

        [rolls eyes]

        Like

    • Lodebar
      April 12, 2017

      You can tell by her sly grin that she is a highly trained killer. Not only is she friends with Kim Jong Yun and Assad, but she interfered with the U.S. elections. Her Black Ops name is the ‘Dreamweaver’. You always have to look out for the wonderful ones.

      Like

      • Linda
        April 25, 2017

        Hilarious!

        Like

  6. Linda VanKampen
    April 8, 2017

    WTF? Sounds like a family of crazies! Yikes!

    Like

  7. John Snow
    April 8, 2017

    “I was thinkin bout her,
    down on both knees.
    picturin you,
    sayin more please.
    I didn’t realize that…
    it was only just a dreeeeeeaam.”

    Like

  8. Aaron Johnson
    April 8, 2017

    crazy bitch

    Like

  9. 2 meters tall
    August 7, 2016

    Today’s women have a mental issue its called demon possession.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Women everywhere
      August 7, 2016

      Fuck you

      Liked by 1 person

      • PM
        August 7, 2016

        What a well thought out and insightful comment – NOT. actually it proves 2 meters tall point exactly!

        Like

      • bloo
        April 8, 2017

        I don’t blame you! There’s as many crazy dudes out there as women!

        Like

      • Hershel Hardkok
        April 10, 2017

        Crazy demon possessed feminist lesbian bitch.

        Like

      • Masta C
        April 10, 2017

        I love how you got a “fuck you” from “women everywhere”

        Like

      • Takeaway women's rights
        April 10, 2017

        Fuck you, stupid bitch

        Like

    • Bonnie
      August 10, 2016

      Cuz men cause us to!!!

      Like

      • Savannahissusie Rottler
        August 11, 2016

        Quit blaming others, for your meltdown. We all have a choice…satan came to steal, to kill, and to destroy, and when you choose his way, you create chaos. Jesus came to give life….Praise His name…

        Like

      • bloo
        April 8, 2017

        Hahaha – she’s one of them!! I’ve heard that very statement before from psycho exes!

        Like

    • dazylove77
      April 6, 2017

      Don’t think all of them are. Men do too you know.

      Like

    • Kayla
      April 7, 2017

      That is a load of bs. Not all women are like that and the women who are are just pure insane and belong in a mental institution.

      Like

    • Sabrina
      April 7, 2017

      THESE women have mental issues. Please don’t generalize all women

      Like

  10. Tara Faller
    August 7, 2016

    They crazy one are the good ones. They are the ones who like to have fun an do crazy things an live life. Now killing ur boyfriend over a dream that is a bit to far.lol

    Like

    • Ligaya Barlow
      January 11, 2017

      In 1976 my husband had a girlfriend named Lori from Milwaukee who looked almost like the girl in this pic. She was a hippie artist who could lick the chrome off a bumper!

      Like

      • imran
        January 21, 2017

        halo mis i like u

        Like

      • bloo
        April 8, 2017

        lol!

        Like

    • imran
      January 21, 2017

      yes you good comants

      Like

    • Jim
      April 6, 2017

      A bit. 😈

      Like

    • bloo
      April 8, 2017

      You might be a little bit right… had tons of fun with my crazy-ish ex

      Like

  11. The people who actually believe this story to be true should be clubbed to death

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pamela wilkins
      August 8, 2016

      Shit well kill me now but i was lmfao but i did believe it yo i was telling my husband about it and he said no way but i believe this dum shit

      Like

      • Alicia Nelson
        August 10, 2016

        Do you not realize that this is a satirical website that credits a comedian, not a real reporter? Look it up, if you don’t believe me

        Like

  12. Jack Jackson
    August 4, 2016

    I just finished jacking off with my left hand(I’m right handed btw)with a carrot shoved up my asshole while my good friend donkey punched me and then gave me a Cleveland steamer,holy fuck what a ride!!!

    Like

    • Tara Faller
      August 7, 2016

      Lls ,STOP STOP,dfl I’m going to piss myself,omg hahaha

      Like

    • Lois Griffin
      August 9, 2016

      What a a Cleveland steamer?

      Like

  13. Jeremy
    August 4, 2016

    This story may be fake but its not far off from reality. I’ve totally had a girlfriend get mad at me for something I had done in her dream. And I had to make up for it in reality. All woman ARE crazy. All of me. Batshit nuts. But that kegal muscle tho. Omg, just squeeze it and you can be as crazy as you need to be, I couldn’t car less what you’re on about.

    Liked by 2 people

    • John Carlisle
      August 6, 2016

      Boys like you that make men like me have to deal with bitches like your stupid ass GF… next time grow some fucking balls and tell her to get over it while she blows you in her next dream… dumbass.

      Like

    • Melissa Leasure
      August 7, 2016

      You’re so right. My cousins wife was asking him questions in his sleep and she got mad for his answers, and he woke up to her hitting him. I am glad none of my gfs did that crap.

      Liked by 1 person

    • humfree3
      August 7, 2016

      Jeremy, no actually you didn’t have to make up for it; you could have simply walked away for good…

      Like

  14. Angelina Wirtanen
    April 11, 2016

    fake!

    “Police arrested Jennifer Jensen in 2011 when she allegedly crashed into the back of a vehicle which was stopped behind another vehicle causing the middle vehicle to hit the front one.

    When police arrived on the scene they performed a sobriety test on Jensen who was later charged with driving under the influence and no proof of insurance. No one was seriously injured from the accident.”

    http://records.com/most-attractive-mug-shots

    Like

  15. Dave Jeffers
    April 8, 2016

    FOUR !

    Like

  16. conefender
    April 7, 2016

    it’s unbelievable

    Like

  17. Pingback: This Girl Had A Dream That Her Boyfriend Cheated on Her, So Naturally She Killed Him With a Nine Iron - The Tailgate Times

  18. texasstarsaddles
    April 4, 2016

    Go to the menu at the top righthand side of this page and click on disclaimer.

    Like

    • texasstarsaddles
      April 4, 2016

      Make that the menu in the top lefthand side of this page.

      Like

      • woofers
        April 5, 2016

        Thanks for that, haha.

        Like

  19. Tiger Woods survived an attack with a 9 iron if I recall. Oh I guess his windows took the hit.

    Like

  20. john stallings
    April 4, 2016

    how do you know it wasnt the 6 iron?

    Like

  21. Hope
    April 3, 2016

    This shit cannot be true. No white girl would be smart enough to use a golf club. She would try to claw him to death with her new manicure and then throw his xbox out the window. At that point the boyfriend would club her stupid ass to death.

    Like

    • sean
      April 3, 2016

      Ummmm….what about Tigers wife…took it to HIM pretty good!

      Like

    • Ronnie Notter
      April 4, 2016

      …and white people are always accused of being racist. Jesus, take the wheel.

      Like

    • Tara Faller
      August 7, 2016

      A smart white girl wouldn’t use her nails,yes we would destroy ur Xbox an ps4 an ur iPad an phone an laptop and take ur Credit cards maxed them out. Then post on FB an Twitter how small of a dick u have that it’s a lil baby dick and u bust within less then a min like a middle school boy. Then kick ur ass with The $150. manicure I just got with your credit card.lls

      Like

      • Breon O'Neil
        April 7, 2017

        As soon as I hear my Xbox hit the ground she wouldn’t make it to Twitter cuz she’d be dead I’d happily go to hell. Oh wait I’m already going

        Like

  22. Ty olsen
    April 3, 2016

    Hey she is a cute white girl she won’t even go to jail lol

    Like

    • Par shitty
      April 25, 2016

      Niggar

      Like

      • Chrissy
        August 9, 2016

        What gives u the right to call someone that???? U have a lot of issues u need to get straight with the man upstairs. U racist fucking fat retarded hick

        Like

    • You should be locked up for life for believing this story. Its a FAKE news website.

      Like

  23. Pingback: Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream | Living in Anglo-America

  24. Linda Stevens
    April 3, 2016

    Put her to death. Maybe she’ll be sane & a good person in her next life. Don’t let’s waste any more money on room, board, health care, prison guards, etc. on her behalf.

    Like

  25. Cannon
    April 2, 2016

    Bet she only gets community service for her crime. Since her lawyer will say that she defended herself

    Like

  26. Robert Herrera
    April 2, 2016

    NOTE TO ALL MY FRIENDS ” DO NOT DATE THIS WOMAN “

    Like

  27. Chris
    April 2, 2016

    Looking for a good time, I will like your selfies immediately!!! I am a 29 year old business owner who is very good looking seeking a Barbie type/ pornstart looking girlfriend to have a ton of fun with inside and out of the bedroom. There is nothing like the rush of getting it on in public places if that’s what your into!! So just reply with your A/S/L. I am 29/M/NY

    Liked by 1 person

    • DracoBorne
      April 2, 2016

      69/Yes/Idon’tknow

      Liked by 1 person

    • DracoBorne
      April 2, 2016

      69/Yes/I’mLostSendHelpVIACarrierPigeon

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dakota Lingard
      April 5, 2016

      Ur a straight lame and a weirdo no wonder ur putting out apps for a girlfriend online if u haven’t already been jammed up on how to catch a predator fucking weirdo I was looking you up wierdest thing happened u showed up as a red dot

      Like

    • Tara Faller
      August 7, 2016

      Barbie is out of style baby

      Like

  28. SDC
    April 1, 2016

    Oh for the love of God bring on April 2nd!!!

    Like

  29. Bobby P
    April 1, 2016

    Wonder if the club was named Lucille..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Samantha Farnsworth
      April 2, 2016

      You just made my night

      Like

  30. Pingback: Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream | The Valley Report | Annette's place

  31. Darren C LeBlanc
    March 31, 2016

    Bet he had a short putter

    Like

  32. Michael
    March 31, 2016

    From the disclaimer, “Some of these stories my be exaggerated, embellished or an outright work of fiction. Use proper judgment when reading anything on the internet. Share, but do not repost content without permission.”

    Like

    • Daniel Scott Smith
      March 31, 2016

      yeah but when i read it and the other related stories it hit hi9me i had a gf just like that except i was lucky i never got murdered or killed. there are lots of wack-os out there like that.

      Like

  33. Ted
    March 31, 2016

    Well, Trump lost another Vote.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. machariawanjiku
    March 31, 2016

    my fellow women…am calling out laud that you may hear me,,,lets wake up from this so called love and jealousy,,,i understand that we need men though at times they don’t need us.the action taken by this woman was embarrassing to me as one of her kind but please next time if it happens,have a second mind

    Like

  35. Maurissa
    March 31, 2016

    Maybe it is best that they stay single or men check their background
    Once you find that they are crazy bad news leave them.

    Like

  36. Randy Blazak
    March 30, 2016

    Just another “women are crazy” story made up for the narrative of patriarchy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • trampking
      April 4, 2016

      Did you really just type that? I’m hoping I missed the sarcasm.

      Like

  37. Ragnar
    March 30, 2016

    Total bullshit. Her name is Jennifer Jensen . That picture is from a 2011 DUI arrest in Florida.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. JERALD HENDERSON
    March 30, 2016

    WOW ,IT’S TRUE WOMAN ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES !!YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING TO GET NOW OR NEXT !!LOL!!!

    Like

  39. MJ Brewer
    March 30, 2016

    Wow, remember, when someone sends you a selfie, you’d better one up it before they grab the knife. And although some dreams are intuitive, without proof she appears a complete idiot. Horoscopes describe 12 types of people dependent on when they were born. If there are only twelve types, the other 11 should do away with all golf clubs and kitchen cutlery straight away.

    Like

  40. NYCTourGuy (Bucs fan)
    March 30, 2016

    Everybody tries to copy the Onion and apparently everybody fails miserably.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Effitall
      March 30, 2016

      Yet here you are. Everyone wants to clown and here you are just looking like one.

      Like

      • brianmonarch
        March 30, 2016

        Because one idiot posts it on Facebook and you look makes you a clown? Nope. Anyone that creates a site like this is the clown.

        Liked by 1 person

      • NYCTourGuy (Bucs fan)
        April 14, 2016

        As a professional comic, I guess I kinda AM a clown. But a sexy one.

        Like

    • Ravi
      March 30, 2016

      Everybody points out the obvious fail and everybody sounds recursive.

      Like

    • What’s it like to live below the poverty line?

      Like

  41. Pingback: Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream – Moonshine Method

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This entry was posted on March 29, 2016 by in News.

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