RALEIGH, NC – Standup comedian and actor Chris Rock was ordered by a judge to pay a Caucasian family just over a million dollars because they were “traumatized beyond repair” after watching his 1996 hit ‘Bring the Pain’.
“Both of our children had to be treated for PTSD,” the father said. “We were watching Shrek and decided to check out his other work. Big mistake. He described the difference between ‘N-words’ and black people. As a white male, I feel there is nothing holding me back in society. There is nothing for me to be offended by so I must be offended on behalf of other people. This million dollars will not even come close to covering the damage our children faced. People need to be educated. Do better. Stereotypes, oppression, Whole Foods and fedoras.”
“Luckily for the plaintiff, this is North Carolina,” stated the judge. “The process here is simple. You fill out a description of who you are suing, I read it out loud and if they are described as black, I ring a dinner bell and scream out ‘guilty’. We whites are entitled to most of that money. If we had not oppressed them for so long, his jokes about it wouldn’t be funny.”