WINNIPEG, MB – Brian Bowman sent newly elected premier Brian Pallister a welcome text with a sexy picture of himself on Friday.
“Welcome to the Brian Club!!1 xoxo,” the text read. Pallister replied “Aw gay,” reflecting his voting against allowing gay-straight alliances in schools. Bowman clarified “It’s not gay you silly bitch, let’s go and see some strippers trying to improve their chances of being a doctor or a nurse, that’s what us sexy men do. I’ll make sure there’s no ‘free-loading Indians’ out front.”
Pallister said he plans to spend as little time in Winnipeg because of Bowman, but also because of its gay and Aboriginal population.
“With a higher population, there’s going to be more gay people. It’s nothing but a social experiment gone horribly right in our culture. I’m afraid if I’m around gay people too much, I’ll catch the cooties I had before. I spent some long, hard, rigorous nights in a gay correction camp.”
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