Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match


DAVE WEASEL

BROOKLYN, NY – A 24-year-old woman picked up her phone on Saturday afternoon to discover the battery had somehow been drained.

man talks about first novel 3

After plugging it in, she was bombarded with 53 messages over the dating app Tinder from a man she accidentally swiped right on. “I don’t typically match with guys who have long bios,” the woman said. “The more they have to say in a brief intro, the less interesting they actually are.”

The messages were all about a novel he is writing. His first book. Of course. Here’s the transcript:

  • Hey
  • Hey
  • Hi
  • Hey
  • So you’re a dental hygienist? That’s cool, I’m sorta like that, I’m a writer
  • Specifically a novelist
  • I’m Alex btw
  • Do you wanna grab coffee?
  • I know all the spots
  • I take my laptop everywhere to write my novel
  • Sometimes I take a typewriter to get a more authentic feel at Starbs
  • I’m Alex btw
  • Shit you already know that lol
  • A guy helping me edit leaked a couple chapters
  • People are going crazy for it
  • It’s pretty controversial
  • It’s about a man living in a modern Marxist society
  • Trying to get ahead in business
  • A real rat race
  • Pretty heavy stuff
  • The protagonest [sic] is someone you’d really like
  • Hopefully not too much lol 😉
  • Hello?
  • There’s a few conspiracy theories in it
  • Most of the sheep believe everything they hear
  • Not me, too smart
  • It’s like Hemmyway [sic] if you know who that is
  • I identify with him a lot
  • My writing is similar to his
  • But I’m edgier
  • People tell me not to be so edgy
  • But I can’t hide people from the truth
  • Hello?
  • I found you on Facebook too
  • I don’t use Facebook much
  • A judge said I’m not allowed to have social media but whatevs
  • Hello?
  • I think you should be a character in my book
  • The strong silent type
  • Do you believe in aliens? I fucking do
  • I called the place you work at they’re not open
  • Hello?
  • Your [sic] really hot
  • You should play the role of Victory Rainnnn in my book
  • Cuz your [sic] hot
  • What’s the weirdest thing you’ve masturbated to?
  • Every publisher declined my book
  • Too heavy and real for them
  • I’m going to send them a video of me taking a shit in my hand
  • Then eating it
  • Hello?
  • Hello?
  • Here’s a picture of my dick
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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match – Moonshine Method

[…] to discover the battery had somehow been drained. After plugging it in, she was bombarded … Continue reading → Source: The Valley […]

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