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Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match

DAVE WEASEL

BROOKLYN, NY – A 24-year-old woman picked up her phone on Saturday afternoon to discover the battery had somehow been drained.

man talks about first novel 3

After plugging it in, she was bombarded with 53 messages over the dating app Tinder from a man she accidentally swiped right on. “I don’t typically match with guys who have long bios,” the woman said. “The more they have to say in a brief intro, the less interesting they actually are.”

The messages were all about a novel he is writing. His first book. Of course. Here’s the transcript:

  • Hey
  • Hey
  • Hi
  • Hey
  • So you’re a dental hygienist? That’s cool, I’m sorta like that, I’m a writer
  • Specifically a novelist
  • I’m Alex btw
  • Do you wanna grab coffee?
  • I know all the spots
  • I take my laptop everywhere to write my novel
  • Sometimes I take a typewriter to get a more authentic feel at Starbs
  • I’m Alex btw
  • Shit you already know that lol
  • A guy helping me edit leaked a couple chapters
  • People are going crazy for it
  • It’s pretty controversial
  • It’s about a man living in a modern Marxist society
  • Trying to get ahead in business
  • A real rat race
  • Pretty heavy stuff
  • The protagonest [sic] is someone you’d really like
  • Hopefully not too much lol 😉
  • Hello?
  • There’s a few conspiracy theories in it
  • Most of the sheep believe everything they hear
  • Not me, too smart
  • It’s like Hemmyway [sic] if you know who that is
  • I identify with him a lot
  • My writing is similar to his
  • But I’m edgier
  • People tell me not to be so edgy
  • But I can’t hide people from the truth
  • Hello?
  • I found you on Facebook too
  • I don’t use Facebook much
  • A judge said I’m not allowed to have social media but whatevs
  • Hello?
  • I think you should be a character in my book
  • The strong silent type
  • Do you believe in aliens? I fucking do
  • I called the place you work at they’re not open
  • Hello?
  • Your [sic] really hot
  • You should play the role of Victory Rainnnn in my book
  • Cuz your [sic] hot
  • What’s the weirdest thing you’ve masturbated to?
  • Every publisher declined my book
  • Too heavy and real for them
  • I’m going to send them a video of me taking a shit in my hand
  • Then eating it
  • Hello?
  • Hello?
  • Here’s a picture of my dick
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4 comments on “Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match

  1. ButIWasRaisedToBeAHetero
    August 19, 2016

    If your on tinder expect to encounter closet homosexuals like this guy…

    Like

  2. Noneya
    April 29, 2016

    Wow, speechless

    Like

  3. Michael Highers
    April 27, 2016

    You didn’t have my permission to use my messages, bro. But I sent you a picture of me eating shit as a token of good will.

    Like

  4. Pingback: Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match – Moonshine Method

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This entry was posted on April 23, 2016 by in News.

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