The Valley Report

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Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

DAVE WEASEL

NEW YORK – A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth over 3 million dollars on Friday night, but showed up to work anyway on Monday to deliver one last package.

woman takes dump on boss desk 2

The courier company had no idea of her winnings. “I knew something was wrong because I came back from lunch and the door to my office was closed,” said the manager. I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”

“It was worth it,” the woman said on arrest. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s shit for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”

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758 comments on “Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

  1. Rich
    May 19, 2017

    So much Bullshit -All the time !

    Like

  2. Pingback: Fake News: Fatal, but Sometimes Funny as Hell | Fake News

  3. Pingback: Fue arrestada por defecar en el escritorio de su jefe luego de ganar US $3 millones en la lotería – leoyopino

  4. Pingback: Top 10 #fakenews stories - Miappi. Making the fake, original

  5. Judi
    February 18, 2017

    I THINK IT’S TRUE! LOL…& PROBABLY…..well deserved……I just seen a story on Dr Phil in which a Brother did this all over his Sisters’ porch…b/c he was mad….SICK IDIOT! Not only that….he did to a strangers new truck….b/c he got kicked out of a par-tay!!! DISGUSTING PIG! BUT OH SoOoOoOoOoO TRUE!

    Like

  6. Pingback: ¡Falso, falso! – Verificalo

  7. Pingback: Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery - SARCnation

  8. Mariann Thompson
    November 17, 2016

    Fake….This is the kinda stuff that doesn’t need to be in FB…With all the different sites out there can’t we have one site ( Facebook) that is free from all this BS???? I know I’m not the only person who feels like this. If I want to read funny articles I would gladly go to a site that is dedicated to that kind of stuff & The videos….Isn’t that what YouTube is for? This really bothers me so I’m excited to see if I have friends out there who would like to vent…lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ligaya Barlow
      January 11, 2017

      Get a life yo-yo. You live in a stupid country so deal with it.

      Like

    • John h
      March 27, 2017

      Nobody said you had.to read.this…… And im sure there are lots.of.mechanics.who would like to do as.she.did

      Like

  9. Ed
    September 21, 2016

    It’s a HOAX

    Like

    • Ligaya Barlow
      January 11, 2017

      Maybe not. Many years ago in Albuquerque my husband had a girlfriend who worked at a restaurant in a motel on rte66. The owner was Iranian and they both worked at the motel, which had two stories and sixty rooms. The owner kept making passes at her and refused to pay her unless she gave in to him. So she quit and they moved out, but not before he half-filled a white plastic potato salad bucket and hid it deep in the bowels of the central Aircon system, which vented the smell of shit into every room, including the front office. The owners were unable to locate the source of the aroma, the business failed, and no one wanted to buy the property. So the story here could be true.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Jay
    September 2, 2016

    Monkey shit sheeple satire garbage. Only RETARDS Believe these IDIOT–CAUSING/BREEDING CANCER “articles!

    Like

    • Lynne Short-Newman
      September 11, 2016

      …but please tell us what you REALLY think?

      Like

  11. Rox
    August 20, 2016

    Yeah, this story is fake. Notice how no names are mentioned anywhere in the article.

    Like

    • pabrams
      December 3, 2016

      That’s because this is a fake news site you dipshit. Of course it’s a fake story. It’s meant to be funny.

      Like

  12. jeff uber
    August 14, 2016

    she is my hero

    Like

  13. Rainey Grimes
    August 11, 2016

    She should have smeared some on his face too.

    Like

  14. Pingback: Fue arrestada por defecar en el escritorio de su jefe luego de ganar US $3 millones en la lotería - Notiviral.net

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This entry was posted on April 25, 2016 by in News.

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