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Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery


DAVE WEASEL

NEW YORK – A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth over 3 million dollars on Friday night, but showed up to work anyway on Monday to deliver one last package.

woman takes dump on boss desk 2

The courier company had no idea of her winnings. “I knew something was wrong because I came back from lunch and the door to my office was closed,” said the manager. I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”

“It was worth it,” the woman said on arrest. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s shit for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

What others say about : Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery..


Andrew

Makes you wonder how much of and d-bag the boss must have been.
For somebody to dislike you that much you must be one horrible person
You put that girl through hell. Bet you won’t look at your office the same way again .
Bet you will change how you treat people. Next time it might be in your coffee.
Lesson here is simple, treat people with kindness cause been a dbag will most def get
Guarantee that in the “end” you will get the shitty end of the stick

Jack Martinez

I take it those raises & promotions didn’t come as she had planned. I’m sure holding a weekend of Mexican food in herself, surely would be considered some lethal shit!! Wonder if the Boss ordered a new desk?? LMAO!! Bye Felicia!!

Donna

I think she has enough money to pay for an attorney… However if she ever would need to seek employment again she might just have to take a crappy job!!! 😂😂😂

Lisa

just shows how immature she is, just take your money and go, her 10 minutes of fame are over, grow up and get some class, what a loser! smh

Mike

That’s the least of her worries now everyone know she’s a winner I wonder if she will survive her jail time cause inmates will be after her

Samantha Cox

I totally agree with you, how vulgar. She will reap what she sows. Ridiculous, and nasty. What would she have done if she didn’t have the winning numbers? She would have been without a job. Stupid immature wiman.

Hazel Lawrence

About 90% of managers have a superior attitude and treat employees like they are less then nothing. I’m sure that jerk had it coming. You go girl!!!

Amused

Laughing hysterically at all the stops people who actually think this is a real article…this website is satire. 😂😂😂😂😂

Lisa

There is something wrong with that woman. What would possess anyone to do that? Just go in and quit like any normal person would do, no matter what you think of your boss.

gary craig

Mankie cow. Why nae shit ob his face while your at it. Ill bet you werent shitting on his desk when you picked up your fkn wages

fronz1234

Living well, is the best revenge…time wasted…her boss should’ve just been a dot in her rear view mirror. She let him rent space in her head. She’ll be broke in less than 10 years….3 million is not really a lot of money and she strikes me as someone that would not be smart enough to set up a trust and live off the interest.

amcphaull

Local lottery big winners are normally paid out in 20 year increments. That’s roughly 150k annually Gross. Pay roughly 45-50% supplemental and state tax so one is looking at roughly 75k annually net.

That’s not that difficult to blow through that. Granted that is for 20 straight years, but folks have done far more crazy things….

michael

3 million almost instantly becomes more like 1.5 million after taxation. Still a lot, but buy a house, and youve spent 1/4 of your money. buy 3 or 4 cars, theres half of it gone now…

Emmie Lou Tucker

What if SHE is really the slime bucket? At least 99% of you commenting don’t know. Plenty of thoroughly obnoxious employees around who don’t/can’t get fired for one reason or another.

Dennis

Oh hell yeah. I’d sent it priority FedEx and rigged it when he opened the box by the pull tab it would of pulled it out on his lap. Lmao

Ms Fuzzy

I wouldn’t give that monster of a boss the satisfaction. With that kind of money, I’d hire a truck load of homeless people And give each one $1000 to do the poop thing.

Victor sweetinh

Holy SHIT,shits crazy, now the shits gonna hit the fan,what a shitty shitty thing to do that’s some crazy shit,we’ll shit I gotta go.

Niecei

I don’t know why people think this is funny, you would find it funny if you were the jerk. .if you can’t stand your job then find the door

Dennis

If the guy wasn’t such a jerk it would not have happened. This story is prob not true but so many ppl will live vicariously through it—lol’
.

Marie Golden

It is very funny I had a good laugh. ..and no this would never happen to me fake or not…why because I would never give anyone reason too…I know people who can be terrible to other’s in the workplace…chance’s are he deserved it….

tina

I wonder if she realized that some hard working cleaning person was going to be the one picking her crap up!

romagman

I just simply love this !!!!! Don’t think I did not thought of ever doing this and more . Where I work at, I had to endure with soo much BULLSHIT year after year after year. And still putting up with it.You could not even begin to imagine.

Andrea

I have worked for a lot of jerks in my life. There is no way I would have stooped to his level. So not worth a criminal record.

romagman

I undertsand how you feel. But sometimes you need to stoop down to the lowest level. Thats all these assholes understand.

d gamon

My friend left work on Friday afternoon. He sneaked back later with 3 chicken caught from a pen a short distance away. He put them in the manager’s office and closed the door. On Monday morning the manager opened his office to find poop and feathers everywhere.

Shane

“Take this job and shove it” was sung by Johnny Paycheck, Kevin.
This is a fake story. Funny, but fake.

Kevin

I always told myself that if I won the Lotto I would hire a 18 wheeler flat bed truck and then hire the Charlie Daniels band to get on the back of the truck with huge speakers playing the song, Take this Job and shove it. Then drive it past the office on my way out the door.

Frances McCall

Yes it was sung by Johnny Paycheck but kinda be hard to get him to sing it being he has passed away !!!! So sad 🙁

barb

You needed this to know that? Look at our Republican nominee.. that should have told you that.

Rick

Interesting to mix politics into a discussion about a story (real or not) such as this.

Bornagain08

This woman’s actions just show that she has NO respect for herself or others. In addition it shows just how immature and Juvenile she is. Just take the winnings and leave, and without an arrest on your record. You win 3 million dollars and the first thing you do is commit a criminal act? People need Jesus Christ so much and they don’t even realize it.

Berry Richards

Guess you have never worked for a tyrant before. The guy probably deserved whatever he got. Too bad he walked in while she was in the act. It would have been better if he had to ponder who in the world would have done that to him (since most jerks think a lot of themselves).

CT

It also shows she’ll probably blow through that money and be devastated when she can’t find a job again because of this lol

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