Independent poll shows Trump approval rating hits 0%


LOS ANGELES – An independent poll conducted this afternoon in the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles shows Donald Trump hit an all time low in his approval ratings – 0%.

Trumpster Pig

The poll was published by The Valley Report, a satirical website known for publishing nonsense and donkey trash, showed slightly more integrity in it’s findings by displaying less than 10% of the ads the Ramussen Report did [including a side-by-side IQ comparison of Melania and Michelle. Seriously].

Screen Shot 2017-04-17 at 7.20.21 PM

Anyways, the tracking data for the study came from a pool of three women, which members of the far-right were quickly able to dismantle and dismiss as follows:

Mary, 24 – Secretary – or something – [IMPORTANT NOTE – is a gay]
“Her opinion doesn’t matter because she didn’t see anything wrong with a woman president, bleeding out her whatever and scissoring all over the White House. Gross.”

Joslyn, 22 – Nurse – it doesn’t matter – [IMPORTANT NOTE – is a black]
“Another void opinion, as nobody reads newspapers from the back of the bus.”

Hannah, 27 – Teacher – fuck, who cares – [IMPORTANT NOTE – is ratchet]
“She isn’t attractive enough to find a husband, someone to give her permission to express an opinion. She’ll vote for any warthog nobody is grabbing by the puss”.

Your move, Trumpster Pig.

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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