Pence: health care bill to only cover gay conversion therapy
WASHINGTON – After months of desperately trying to repeal Obamacare, Mike Pence announced a key detail in the proposed bill the Senate has been keeping a secret.
Pence, who has been an outspoken supporter of conversion therapy, a psychological treatment designed to change a person’s sexual orientation through summer camp meetups, said this has worked wonders for a friend. A friend, he insisted, and definitely not him.
“We need the funds to help facilitate these weekend rendvous,” stated Pence. “Chemo therapy? Who cares. Gun shot wounds? Maybe you should’ve been a good guy with a gun. Major Surgery? You should’ve thought about the car accident you’d be in two years ago when you bought a smartphone.”
“I will personally be at the conversion camps to make sure tax dollars are spent properly,” Pence added. “No, my wife will not be there. She has to wash her hair that week. The point is, eliminating homosexuality from American society is only going to Make America Great Again, and doing it at the expence of the ill kills two [million] birds with one stone.”