Trump Magazine names Donald Trump sexiest man alive


DAVE WEASEL

WASHINGTON — After reports of Donald Trump plastering his Florida resort with fake Time Magazine covers of himself, Trump Magazine released its Sexiest Man Alive issue, and named Donald Trump as the title.

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“Uncle Donny came into the office and said he wants a ‘sexiest man alive’ volume,” a staff writer said. “He told us we can name any man we want, but it better be him or he’ll choke slam us in a wrestling match like he did to CNN.”

“I thought it was a joke,” the editor-in-chief stated. “I did not expect threats of violence over not picking him were to be taken seriously, but he was very serious. He said he’ll tweet things about a facelift I never had. I could care less, nobody really reads this magazine or knows about it, it’s subscribers keep it for the toilet on yachts.”

Good god. Here is the cover:

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Dave Weasel

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