Chris Christie sat on throne of used needles to show Jersey Shore is clean


DAVE WEASEL

NEWARK, NJ – Frustrated over the scrutiny of how filthy the Jersey Shore is, Governor Chris Christie sat on a mountain of used needles to prove how harmless they are.

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When questioned if Christie was at the beach, he initially denied it. When shown the photographs, he said “The giant piles of trash blocked all sunlight. Besides, I’m sick of the stigma of the dirty needles, used condoms, garbage, and broken bottles littered all over our disgusting beaches. It’s time people see a little hepatitis never hurt anyone in contrast to what else is out here.”

When asked why it was necessary to close the beaches for Independence Day, Christie replied “Because they’r gross to the naked eye and nose. Traces of DNA can be found of That Situation bastard from the Jersey Show can be found in the sand. In contrast, you’re better off taking your chances with the needles.”

 

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

What others say about : Chris Christie sat on throne of used needles to show Jersey Shore is clean..


anne nelson

Granted it’s a long holiday weekend & NJ was shut down, but I’ve been trying to get an answer in any way I could from Christie. Twitter, FB, no phones….so tomorrow I’ll call. I DO NOT want my personal voter info. released to the Trump Commission. If you are not aware the HOUSE ELIMINATED the Federal Agency that made sure voting machines were not hacked. Then Trump creates this Commission. Our personal info is our name, address, DOB, part of our social security # and our party. Please people get on the phones and call the Dept of Elections & Christie.

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