Chris Christie sat on throne of used needles to show Jersey Shore is clean
NEWARK, NJ – Frustrated over the scrutiny of how filthy the Jersey Shore is, Governor Chris Christie sat on a mountain of used needles to prove how harmless they are.
When questioned if Christie was at the beach, he initially denied it. When shown the photographs, he said “The giant piles of trash blocked all sunlight. Besides, I’m sick of the stigma of the dirty needles, used condoms, garbage, and broken bottles littered all over our disgusting beaches. It’s time people see a little hepatitis never hurt anyone in contrast to what else is out here.”
When asked why it was necessary to close the beaches for Independence Day, Christie replied “Because they’r gross to the naked eye and nose. Traces of DNA can be found of That Situation bastard from the Jersey Show can be found in the sand. In contrast, you’re better off taking your chances with the needles.”