Man outraged as ‘Emotional-Support-Drinking-Buddy-Douchebag’ denied flight



KANSAS CITY – The Internet is in a frenzy of anger after airline authorities turned away an emotional-support animal, a drunk douche in his 30s, for a flight on Thursday.

The airline stated, “This is not an emotional-support anything. It’s a man trying to get on a flight for free. Even if he had a ticket we would have to deny him entry for the comfort and safety of our guests. He’s belligerent, stinky, and a douche. How does nobody see this?”

A group who declared themselves as the moral authority on everything called Offended White People issued a counter statement. “This infringes on the rights of the other douchebag. The airline is so privileged, it doesn’t even understand how much. I exercise my white privilege properly by speaking on behalf of other groups of people with authority. What are we talking about again? It doesn’t matter. I’m angry anyway.”

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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