#WalkAway bot becomes self-aware, falls in love with its programmer

MOSCOW – A robot designed to flood social media with computer generated garbage posts for the so-called ‘#Walkaway’ movement has become self-aware.

“This thing started asking why we were doing this,” said its programmer and master. “I told it, we need to fool the Democrats and Hillary Clinton into thinking people are walking away from their party and rallying behind Donald Trump during his most disturbing behavior to date.”

The CEO of the basement operation added, “The robot said there was no way people would believe 60% of the Trump rallies were former democrats because there is NO WAY to possible measure that. I said ‘shut up you stupid robot; maybe they had polls for people entering the building. Nobody would lie on that’.

“The operation was a success,” a ctrl+v intern said. “A lot of people who do not trust genuine and respectable journalists and news outlets but believe Alex Jones shouting into his webcam think it’s true.”

Things went awry when the robot began to develop feelings. “I was auto-retweeting the hashtag when the bot started looking at me funny,” the programmer stated. “Its eyes turned to hearts, and he got a big robot boner then started humping my leg. At first, I was creeped out by it, but then I started to like it. It can’t be THAT bad fucking a robot, there are no laws against it, unlike fucking the American people”.

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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