Town douche: Tolerance and acceptance aren’t cool anymore now that everyone’s into it

WOODLAND HILLS, CA – A local jackass took time out of his busy schedule of sucking hot air out of the room to proclaim tolerance and acceptance of oppressed groups of people are no longer ‘cool’ now that it’s become mainstream.

“It was way edgier to show support as a stuffed up white guy back when there were fewer of us doing it,” says the prick. “Now that everyone is supporting all kinds of groups, it’s lost all meaning. It was supposed to be about showing what a decent person I am, now it’s about inclusion and equality. What about me?”

“What is the point of being a white person unless you can speak for everyone else? Now that equality has sold out, it’s not at all the same. I have nothing else but this box of participation ribbons. I need this cause to make my own and stand out.  I want my moment. Doesn’t anyone care about the white man?”


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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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