Kavanaugh cleared of misconduct by FFFFFFBI

WASHINGTON – The FFFFFFFBI concluded their investigation determining the judge crying on the stand while melting down like a Judge Judy defendant did nothing unbecoming in his younger years.

“Yeah bruh, it’s fine,” stated an FFFFFFFBI agent. “We at the Find them, French them, Feel them, Finger them, Fuck them, Forget them Boner Idiots made him do 7 shots and recite the 55 state capitals. He passed with flying colored urine.”

“I like beer, okay?” Kavanaugh repled when asked about the nomination. “How would I know if I ever blacked out? That defeats the purpose of a blackout. I’m sure you’ve gotten drunk with your friends and forced yourself onto a woman. Why shouldn’t someone like me be put on the Supreme Court? This is Trump’s America! Grab her by the beer glass!”

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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