New technology aids officers in randomly selecting ‘stop and frisk’ targets

CHICAGO – To help coax Chicago’s police department into adapting the ‘search and frisk’ rule, a new headset has been developed which scans crowds of people to identify people to enforce the policy on.

“It’s like a VR headset, you put it on and it looks for people of darker skin tone and places a target on their face,” the product’s engineer explained. “From there, the officer can approach that criminal and randomly violate their civil rights. It also searches for turbans and sombreros.”

The device also dispenses a switchblade should things get out of hand. “Let’s say the officer randomly shoots a target. Not all of them were showing resistance or had weapons on them of any kind. Luckily, the blade is dispensed for the officer to place in the random target’s hand absolving everyone of guilt. Except of course the random criminal.

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Dave Weasel

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