Melania Trump releases ‘Billionaire Wife Bluez’ album

WASHINGTON – After an interview where the first lady admitted her Be Best initiative was founded on her own interests and not teenage victims of bullying, she announced the release of her newest endeavor  Billionaire Wife Bluez (sic).

“Just because my husband is a megalomaniac who abuses his power to gain more of it, doesn’t mean I should be caught in the backlash,” she stated. “I wanted what every girl from my home country wanted – to come to the US, overstay my visa, work here illegally, then marry some billionaire twice my age who will have his friends push my papers forward, then collect his money when he dies. I didn’t know he would actually be able to pull this off.”

The album chronicles the hardships of her extravagant lifestyle, including songs about wait times in plastic surgery clinics, rude stewardesses on private jets, her husband’s back hair, and having everyone write her statements with verbiage she doesn’t even understand.

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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