Realizing a president isn’t above the law, Trump promotes himself to king
WASHINGTON – With his son Donald Jr. subpoenaed over Russian investigation, the president quickly realized his occupation doesn’t give him immunity from the law.
“There’s only one way to solve this,” the president stated. “As president, I declare the throne to be mine. From here, nobody can touch me. Not the law, not my third wife’s future alimony case against me, nothing.”
Considering America isn’t ruled by a monarchy, the appointment is merely symbolic, or so one would think.
“If the president wants to wear a crown, eat cheeseburgers and lift the blindfold of justice to reveal a man of inherited wealth, that’s his or her, just kidding – HIS prerogative,” said Rudy Giuliani, speaking as the president’s legal council. “Considering how many golden toilets the man owns, an iron throne is a downgrade.”