PHOTO FINISH: Lawmakers get mistresses’ abortions before banning them

ATLANTA – What a move! Moments before Georgia signed a law banning early abortions, lawmakers got their pregnant mistresses to the clinic for one last minute fixer.

“We made some mistakes early in the game,” stated one abortion ban supporter. “But we have since verbalized a copy+paste apology to our families which almost means it never happened. We got lucky by beating the buzzer like that, but really, getting it in the net at the last second was planned all along. Unlike the pregnancy.”

“Abortions are a disgrace to morality!” stated another lawmaker. “It’s a human life. Rape and incest are inexcusable. If you have a public image to maintain, you simply man up and give your mistress the cash for what an abortion coincidentally costs and hope she keeps her mouth shut about it. That’s the moral thing to do.”



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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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