Trump refers to himself ‘second coming of God’ to Israel, prompting murder investigation of satire
WASHINGTON – Chilling details emerge regarding the 2016 death of satire, revealing it was in fact a grusome murder. First reality outpaced satire, then it appears the president had it slaughtered. In an avalanche of stunning tweets, he cites himself as the “King of Israel” and “the second coming of God”. RIP satire.
“It couldn’t have been me who killed satire,” declared the president. “What I said was quote-tweeted. That means I’m using someone else’s words on my official presidential Twitter account. I’m just relaying information. That’s why I can’t be held accountable for retweeting far-right conspiracy theories. Someone else did it, I swear!”