Scientific study shows a superhero being gay has 0% effect on the lives of people enraged by it.

LOS ANGELES- A team of scientists revealed people put 100% more effort into getting angry over a gay superhero than it does to live your life without giving a shit about something that, as it turns out, has 0% effect on it.

“The sexual orientation of a superhero seems to dilute the fantasy for some people,” an expert stated. “For the anti-homosexual people, getting rescued by someone requires a questionairre first. The only question is; are you gay?”

“I don’t want to be rescued by one of them queermosexuals,” said a man angered by the sexual orientation of some comic book character. “If I’m about to die in a fire on the 7th floor of my apartment building, I want to know my rescuer is straight. If he’s not, I’d rather die. I hear if a gay person saves your life, you become gay yourself. That’s why I got my left ear pierced in middle school.”


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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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