Families of mass shooting victims comforted by fact ‘AR-15’ actually stands for Adorable Rainbows 15

VAN NUYS – This week’s mass shooting (brought to you by the letters N R & A) has brought out the country’s top gun experts through anonymous social media accounts.

“This isn’t a gun problem, it’s an acronym problem,” said @EagleBilbleMan00000893892. “These libards claiming there are too many high-powered firearms in the wrong hands don’t understand that the ‘AR’ in AR-15 means Adorable Rainbows, not assault rifles.”

“After losing my child to a mass shooting, I finally have some comfort knowing there are people out there doing the right thing by spreading education,” stated one mother. “There is power in knowledge, and knowing what the weapon itself stands for will bring my son back..”

Anonymous internet user under the contradicting handle @DrunkOnDeadLiberalTears said, “Using the proper terminology will cut down gun violence, especially if we add more Adorable Rainbows into society. The hardest part is not shooting off your own dick trying to take a selfie for dating sites. It sure beats having to stuff a sock down the front of my pants.”

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Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

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