POSTS BY: DAVE WEASEL

Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

Trump signs executive order to snag @DonaldTrump handle to replace @realDonaldTrump

Trump signs executive order to snag @DonaldTrump handle to replace @realDonaldTrump

WASHINGTON — The president has signed an executive order to shape social media policy...


Stepdad feels American deaths worth his hobby of getting too drunk at Applebee’s

Stepdad feels American deaths worth his hobby of getting too drunk at Applebee’s

TULSA, OK – A stepdad named Rich or Glenn or whatever stated over social...


Jesus distances himself from Christianity after Republicans warp his message beyond recognition

Jesus distances himself from Christianity after Republicans warp his message beyond recognition

BETHLEHEM – Frustrated by His teachings being turned inside out, Jesus has called it...


#002 The Pot(belly) Calling The Kettle Fat

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-pd4ya-cb182a The boys talk about cancel culture, Brandon’s wrestling career, and how to sneak...


Hero dog awarded Purple Heart for catching bone spurs in combat

Hero dog awarded Purple Heart for catching bone spurs in combat

WASHINGTON – The dog responsible for catching the leader of a terrorist group was...


Study links vaping to celibacy

Study links vaping to celibacy

SEATTLE – As more research reveals the dangers of e-cigarettes, a shocking discovery was...


Bombshell Republican defense: “Do you really want a Mike Pence presidency?”

Bombshell Republican defense: “Do you really want a Mike Pence presidency?”

WASHINGTON – As the impeachment inquiry heats up, Republicans dropped a bombshell defense on...


Trump’s doctor visit reveals he can afford medical treatment

Trump’s doctor visit reveals he can afford medical treatment

WASHINGTON – The president’s visit to the doctor has many speculating what the results...


Joe Biden fears marijuana a gateway to excessive Postmates orders

Joe Biden fears marijuana a gateway to excessive Postmates orders

WASHINGTON – Former Vice President Joe Biden announced he will not legalize recreational use...


Not everyone was booing Trump, some were saying boo-urns

Not everyone was booing Trump, some were saying boo-urns

WASHINGTON – As the president was shown on the big screen at the World...


Families of mass shooting victims comforted by fact ‘AR-15’ actually stands for Adorable Rainbows 15

Families of mass shooting victims comforted by fact ‘AR-15’ actually stands for Adorable Rainbows 15

VAN NUYS – This week’s mass shooting (brought to you by the letters N...


Expecting couple keeping baby’s name and gender a secret until its 18th birthday

Expecting couple keeping baby’s name and gender a secret until its 18th birthday

LOS ANGELES – A couple expecting their first child told friends and family they...


Scientific study shows a superhero being gay has 0% effect on the lives of people enraged by it.

Scientific study shows a superhero being gay has 0% effect on the lives of people enraged by it.

LOS ANGELES- A team of scientists revealed people put 100% more effort into getting...


Trump refers to himself ‘second coming of God’ to Israel, prompting murder investigation of satire

Trump refers to himself ‘second coming of God’ to Israel, prompting murder investigation of satire

WASHINGTON – Chilling details emerge regarding the 2016 death of satire, revealing it was...