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POSTS BY: DAVE WEASEL

Dave Weasel

writer | comedian | musician | canadian | etc

Titanic sequel confirmed to star Kanye West and the Olsen twins

Titanic sequel confirmed to star Kanye West and the Olsen twins

DAVE WEASEL LOS ANGELES, CA – The Titanic sequel has been confirmed to begin filming...


Canadians forced to insulate igloos

Canadians forced to insulate igloos

KONRAD ANDERSON OTTAWA, ON – As the federal election heats up in Canada, unemployment...


First fatality confirmed in new high school drug craze ‘fart-huffing’

First fatality confirmed in new high school drug craze ‘fart-huffing’

DAVE WEASEL OVERLAND PARK, KS – A Kansas teenager died Friday night after the...


Lay’s forced to create ‘Childhood Obesity’ flavor after winning 90% of vote

Lay’s forced to create ‘Childhood Obesity’ flavor after winning 90% of vote

DAVE WEASEL ATLANTA, GA – The potato chip company Lay’s was legally forced to...


Bill Cosby’s attorney – “I don’t know what happened, I woke up and I was his lawyer”

Bill Cosby’s attorney – “I don’t know what happened, I woke up and I was his lawyer”

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON, DC – The attorney hired to defend Bill Cosby speaks out after...


Confirmed: Facebook to add ‘dislike’ button and remove ‘logout’ feature

Confirmed: Facebook to add ‘dislike’ button and remove ‘logout’ feature

DAVE WEASEL SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Facebook announced on Wednesday they will be rolling...


Texas Muslim teen detained under new ‘Minority Able to Tell Time’ law

Texas Muslim teen detained under new ‘Minority Able to Tell Time’ law

DAVE WEASEL IRVINE, TX – A 14-year-old boy was the first to be arrested on...


[VIDEO] New Jungle Book trailer slammed by critics for ‘glorifying gang violence’

[VIDEO] New Jungle Book trailer slammed by critics for ‘glorifying gang violence’

DAVE WEASEL HOLLYWOOD, CA – The Jungle Book trailer released today has been met...


Apple engineer fired after iPhone 6s ‘Slutty Siri’ update is distributed

Apple engineer fired after iPhone 6s ‘Slutty Siri’ update is distributed

DAVE WEASEL CUPERTINO, CA – Apple’s faces are McIntosh red after complaints about the...


Drunk pregnant woman arrested on airplane for doing naked cartwheels down aisles

Drunk pregnant woman arrested on airplane for doing naked cartwheels down aisles

DAVE WEASEL FORT WAYNE, IN – A 26 year old woman, 8 months pregnant,...


14 monkeys escape Nebraska zoo, half still at large

14 monkeys escape Nebraska zoo, half still at large

DAVE WEASEL LINCOLN, NE – Seven monkeys are on the loose today in downtown...


Sarah Palin: God takes ‘magic dumps’ to preserve American language

Sarah Palin: God takes ‘magic dumps’ to preserve American language

ERIC NORDQUIST WASHINGTON, DC – At a recent pro-war rally, Sarah Palin explained how...


Syria to take in American refugees if Donald Trump is elected

Syria to take in American refugees if Donald Trump is elected

DAVE WEASEL DAMASCUS – After a successful 14 second presentation by the Terrorism Board of Syria,...


“Dream come true” – Kim Davis accepted into Westboro Baptist Church

“Dream come true” – Kim Davis accepted into Westboro Baptist Church

DAVE WEASEL TOPEKA, KS – An official from the Westboro Baptist Church confirmed they...