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CATEGORY: NEWS

Facebook will own all your content unless you post legally-binding status

Facebook will own all your content unless you post legally-binding status

DAVE WEASEL MENLO PARK, CA – Several news outlets have been reporting a false...


29-year-old woman, mistaken for 30, has violent meltdown at family BBQ

29-year-old woman, mistaken for 30, has violent meltdown at family BBQ

DAVE WEASEL JACKSONVILLE, FL – A Florida woman was detained by a S.W.A.T team on...


Man arrested for ‘fat-shaming’ after posting picture of weight loss

Man arrested for ‘fat-shaming’ after posting picture of weight loss

DAVE WEASEL LITTLE ROCK, AR – A 33-year-old man was arrested and jailed Saturday...


Lululemon to release ‘Yoga Pants for Dogs’ in 2016

Lululemon to release ‘Yoga Pants for Dogs’ in 2016

DAVE WEASEL VANCOUVER, BC – The athletic apparel company Lululemon has extended its sizes...


Dave Grohl falls off stage, severs arm, finishes show anyway

Dave Grohl falls off stage, severs arm, finishes show anyway

DAVE WEASEL INGLEWOOD, CA – The Foo Fighters frontman had a devastating fall from...


Chris Christie spends $3M on hourly blood/urine marijuana tests for campaign staff

Chris Christie spends $3M on hourly blood/urine marijuana tests for campaign staff

DAVE WEASEL MORRISTOWN, NJ – The New Jersey governor and candidate for the Republican...


Facebook bans user for buying homeless man a sandwich and not making a status about it

Facebook bans user for buying homeless man a sandwich and not making a status about it

DAVE WEASEL BURLINGTON, VT – A 31-year-old man has been permanently locked out of...


Titanic sequel confirmed to star Kanye West and the Olsen twins

Titanic sequel confirmed to star Kanye West and the Olsen twins

DAVE WEASEL LOS ANGELES, CA – The Titanic sequel has been confirmed to begin filming...


Canadians forced to insulate igloos

Canadians forced to insulate igloos

KONRAD ANDERSON OTTAWA, ON – As the federal election heats up in Canada, unemployment...


Lay’s forced to create ‘Childhood Obesity’ flavor after winning 90% of vote

Lay’s forced to create ‘Childhood Obesity’ flavor after winning 90% of vote

DAVE WEASEL ATLANTA, GA – The potato chip company Lay’s was legally forced to...


Confirmed: Facebook to add ‘dislike’ button and remove ‘logout’ feature

Confirmed: Facebook to add ‘dislike’ button and remove ‘logout’ feature

DAVE WEASEL SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Facebook announced on Wednesday they will be rolling...


Apple engineer fired after iPhone 6s ‘Slutty Siri’ update is distributed

Apple engineer fired after iPhone 6s ‘Slutty Siri’ update is distributed

DAVE WEASEL CUPERTINO, CA – Apple’s faces are McIntosh red after complaints about the...


14 monkeys escape Nebraska zoo, half still at large

14 monkeys escape Nebraska zoo, half still at large

DAVE WEASEL LINCOLN, NE – Seven monkeys are on the loose today in downtown...


Sarah Palin: God takes ‘magic dumps’ to preserve American language

Sarah Palin: God takes ‘magic dumps’ to preserve American language

ERIC NORDQUIST WASHINGTON, DC – At a recent pro-war rally, Sarah Palin explained how...