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Scientific study shows ‘thoughts and prayers’ reduce violence by 0%

DAVE WEASEL LAS VEGAS, NV – A scientific study...


Trump builds wall around Florida to keep Hurricane Jose Out

MARY GRACE LAMBERT Early Thursday morning, President Donald Trump...


Mooch Fired for Telling Substitute Teacher There Was Homework Over Weekend

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON – Surpassing all expectations, lunatic Anthony...


Ghosts of Trans soldiers weigh in on dying for your freedom to hate them

DAVE WEASEL CALICO, CA – Phantoms of dead American...


John McCain saved by free health care in time to revoke it from 32 million

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON – In a dramatic turn of...


Sarah Palin: God takes ‘magic dumps’ to preserve American language

ERIC NORDQUIST WASHINGTON, DC – At a recent pro-war rally, Sarah Palin explained how she would like to help Donald Trump fix America with the help of God. “You see, God dumped gold and frankincense and all other kinds...


Donald Trump promises to deport all immigrants “back to Alaska”

DAVE WEASEL EDISON, NJ – During a recent tour stop in New Jersey, Donald Trump made his stance clear on immigration and what he plans on doing about it. “I want to make America great again,” Trump states to much...


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