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PHOTO FINISH: Lawmakers get mistresses’ abortions before banning them

PHOTO FINISH: Lawmakers get mistresses’ abortions before banning them

ATLANTA – What a move! Moments before Georgia signed a law banning early abortions,...


Realizing a president isn’t above the law, Trump promotes himself to king

Realizing a president isn’t above the law, Trump promotes himself to king

WASHINGTON – With his son Donald Jr. subpoenaed over Russian investigation, the president quickly...


Migrant caravan threatens American way of life at McDonald’s drive-thru

Migrant caravan threatens American way of life at McDonald’s drive-thru

FARGO – The worst fear of conservatives became real as the migrant caravan coming...


Study shows nobody cares you never saw Game of Thrones

Study shows nobody cares you never saw Game of Thrones

A scientific study reveals 0 out of 10 human beings show any interest in...


Banned from social networks, Alex Jones now posting from Applebee’s bathroom

Banned from social networks, Alex Jones now posting from Applebee’s bathroom

DALLAS – Alex Jones, former Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram account holder, has taken...


William Barr: “I am a legal expert with a law degree from Trump University”

William Barr: “I am a legal expert with a law degree from Trump University”

WASHINGTON -After Barr’s disastrous testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, many people are questioning...


Members of Darth Vader’s estate ask Trump to stop playing ‘Imperial March’ at rallies

Members of Darth Vader’s estate ask Trump to stop playing ‘Imperial March’ at rallies

WASHINGTON – The family of the late Darth Vader issued a statement saying Donald...


Kanye allowed to speak in Oval Office despite failing ‘paper bag test’

Kanye allowed to speak in Oval Office despite failing ‘paper bag test’

WASHINGTON – In a move that shattered racial barriers, Kanye was permitted to speak...


Melania Trump releases ‘Billionaire Wife Bluez’ album

Melania Trump releases ‘Billionaire Wife Bluez’ album

WASHINGTON – After an interview where the first lady admitted her Be Best initiative...


New technology aids officers in randomly selecting ‘stop and frisk’ targets

New technology aids officers in randomly selecting ‘stop and frisk’ targets

CHICAGO – To help coax Chicago’s police department into adapting the ‘search and frisk’ rule,...


Kavanaugh confirmed in death metal band to play Devil’s Triangle

Kavanaugh confirmed in death metal band to play Devil’s Triangle

WASHINGTON – In a move that divided the metal community, Brett Kavanaugh has been...


Susan Collins to 2020 voters: “Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you I’m out”

Susan Collins to 2020 voters: “Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you I’m out”

WASHINGTON – In a bridge burning show of fireworks, Senator Collins announced she would...


Kavanaugh cleared of misconduct by FFFFFFBI

Kavanaugh cleared of misconduct by FFFFFFBI

WASHINGTON – The FFFFFFFBI concluded their investigation determining the judge crying on the stand...


‘Presidential Alert’ emergency message sent to 225 million US cell phones

‘Presidential Alert’ emergency message sent to 225 million US cell phones

WASHINGTON – A nationwide emergency text was sent out via the president this morning...