Chihuahua deported to Mexico despite insisting on being born in California

Chihuahua deported to Mexico despite insisting on being born in California

DAVE WEASEL WEST COVINA, CA – A chihuahua was given formal notice to vacate...


Chris Christie sat on throne of used needles to show Jersey Shore is clean

Chris Christie sat on throne of used needles to show Jersey Shore is clean

DAVE WEASEL NEWARK, NJ – Frustrated over the scrutiny of how filthy the Jersey...


Trump Magazine names Donald Trump sexiest man alive

Trump Magazine names Donald Trump sexiest man alive

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON — After reports of Donald Trump plastering his Florida resort with...


Grim Reaper joins healthcare reform panel

Grim Reaper joins healthcare reform panel

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON – In what Trump called a ‘big surprise’, the Grim Reaper...


KKK Grand Wizard “Dr.” David Duke uses history PHD to score barista job

KKK Grand Wizard “Dr.” David Duke uses history PHD to score barista job

DAVE WEASEL SEATTLE, WA – David Duke, the former KKK grand lizard, or wizard,...


Trump suggests New Mexico change name to Bible Eagle Dallas Cowboys

Trump suggests New Mexico change name to Bible Eagle Dallas Cowboys

WASHINGTON – During talks of the wall, the president made a strange suggestion to...


Webster’s adds ‘covfefe’ to dictionary, removes ‘presidential’ and ‘integrity’

Webster’s adds ‘covfefe’ to dictionary, removes ‘presidential’ and ‘integrity’

DAVE WEASEL SPRINGFIELD, MA – The American publishing giant added the word ‘covfefe’ to...


Pence: health care bill to only cover gay conversion therapy

Pence: health care bill to only cover gay conversion therapy

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON – After months of desperately trying to repeal Obamacare, Mike Pence...


Man shoots wife proving guns don’t kill people, people kill people

Man shoots wife proving guns don’t kill people, people kill people

MARY GRACE LAMBERT Lexington, KY – Upon reading a tweet from the extremist left...


Trumpcare: Americans no longer have to live with preexisting conditions

Trumpcare: Americans no longer have to live with preexisting conditions

WASHINGTON – One step closer to an inevitable death sentence for an incalculable amount...


Kid Rock takes break from singing Kid Rock songs at karaoke to visit White House

Kid Rock takes break from singing Kid Rock songs at karaoke to visit White House

WASHINGTON – To celebrate take-the-trash-to-work day, former musician Kid Rock graced Donald Trump and...


Despite father going bankrupt 4x, this woman grew up to start successful charm bracelet business

Despite father going bankrupt 4x, this woman grew up to start successful charm bracelet business

NEW YORK – If you’re in need of some feel-good inspiration, consider the challenges...


Independent poll shows Trump approval rating hits 0%

Independent poll shows Trump approval rating hits 0%

LOS ANGELES – An independent poll conducted this afternoon in the San Fernando Valley...


Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

DAVE WEASEL NEW YORK – A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth...