• News

Zombies Debate Whether or Not to Eat American Brains

by Dave Weasel   July 22, 2017
  • News

Sean Spicer resigns and returns to the bushes

by Dave Weasel   July 21, 2017
Man gives up sex for life to vape in a fedora

Man gives up sex for life to vape in a fedora

DAVE WEASEL SAN JOSE, CA – A 32-year-old man has accepted his fate as...


Coachella triples Porta-Potties to mask smell of patrons

Coachella triples Porta-Potties to mask smell of patrons

DAVE WEASEL Indio, CA – After several complains from neighbouring parks and cities, Coachella...


Man issued divorce and assault with weapon charge for giving wife a ‘dutch oven’

Man issued divorce and assault with weapon charge for giving wife a ‘dutch oven’

DAVE WEASEL PHOENIX, AZ – A 33-year-old man is facing criminal charges for holding...


School security guard accidentally kicks black female student 37 times in the face

School security guard accidentally kicks black female student 37 times in the face

DAVE WEASEL MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In what school officials and police are ruling a simple...


MLB finally responds to racist team monikers, Chicago ‘White’ Sox to change name

MLB finally responds to racist team monikers, Chicago ‘White’ Sox to change name

DAVE WEASEL NEW YORK, NY – After years of protest over its racist team...


Bistro owner tracks down and murders Yelp user for bad review

Bistro owner tracks down and murders Yelp user for bad review

DAVE WEASEL OAKLAND, CA – A restauranteur is in custody after he murdered a...


Chris Rock ordered to pay $1 million to white family offended by use of ‘N-word’

Chris Rock ordered to pay $1 million to white family offended by use of ‘N-word’

DAVE WEASEL RALEIGH, NC – Standup comedian and actor Chris Rock was ordered by...


North Carolina enforces ‘doggy door’ segregated bathrooms for LGBT people

North Carolina enforces ‘doggy door’ segregated bathrooms for LGBT people

DAVE WEASEL CHARLOTTE, NC – Lawmakers in North Carolina were frustrated by the backlash of...


Drunk driver sues parents of kids he ran over for ’emotional distress’

Drunk driver sues parents of kids he ran over for ’emotional distress’

CLEVELAND, OH – A 33-year-old man charged with driving under the influence and running...


Panic spreads as FBI can access iPhone users’ deleted selfies

Panic spreads as FBI can access iPhone users’ deleted selfies

DAVE WEASEL NOVATO, CA – In the wake of a terrorist investigation, a bigger...


Facebook servers catch on fire after 9 million basic women post ‘I’m Pregnant’ on April Fools’ Day

Facebook servers catch on fire after 9 million basic women post ‘I’m Pregnant’ on April Fools’ Day

DAVE WEASEL MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook was giving out a 502 error Friday...


Restaurant owner figures out how to get $150 000 of free social media advertising

Restaurant owner figures out how to get $150 000 of free social media advertising

DAVE WEASEL SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A local sandwich shop owner has been enjoying...


Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream

Woman clubs boyfriend to death because he cheated on her in a dream

MARY LAMBERT SEATTLE, WA – A 28-year-old man is dead after his girlfriend beat...


Ted Cruz and his mistresses agree; gay people ruin the sanctity of marriage

Ted Cruz and his mistresses agree; gay people ruin the sanctity of marriage

DAVE WEASEL HOUSTON, TX – Republican candidate Ted Cruz along with several of his...