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Webster’s adds ‘covfefe’ to dictionary, removes ‘presidential’ and ‘integrity’

Webster’s adds ‘covfefe’ to dictionary, removes ‘presidential’ and ‘integrity’

DAVE WEASEL SPRINGFIELD, MA – The American publishing giant added the word ‘covfefe’ to...


Pence: health care bill to only cover gay conversion therapy

Pence: health care bill to only cover gay conversion therapy

DAVE WEASEL WASHINGTON – After months of desperately trying to repeal Obamacare, Mike Pence...


Man shoots wife proving guns don’t kill people, people kill people

Man shoots wife proving guns don’t kill people, people kill people

MARY GRACE LAMBERT Lexington, KY – Upon reading a tweet from the extremist left...


Trumpcare: Americans no longer have to live with preexisting conditions

Trumpcare: Americans no longer have to live with preexisting conditions

WASHINGTON – One step closer to an inevitable death sentence for an incalculable amount...


Kid Rock takes break from singing Kid Rock songs at karaoke to visit White House

Kid Rock takes break from singing Kid Rock songs at karaoke to visit White House

WASHINGTON – To celebrate take-the-trash-to-work day, former musician Kid Rock graced Donald Trump and...


Despite father going bankrupt 4x, this woman grew up to start successful charm bracelet business

Despite father going bankrupt 4x, this woman grew up to start successful charm bracelet business

NEW YORK – If you’re in need of some feel-good inspiration, consider the challenges...


Independent poll shows Trump approval rating hits 0%

Independent poll shows Trump approval rating hits 0%

LOS ANGELES – An independent poll conducted this afternoon in the San Fernando Valley...


Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

DAVE WEASEL NEW YORK – A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth...


Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match

Man sends 53 unanswered messages about first novel he is writing to Tinder match

DAVE WEASEL BROOKLYN, NY – A 24-year-old woman picked up her phone on Saturday...


Winnipeg mayor sends sassy selfie to new sexist, racist & homophobic premier

Winnipeg mayor sends sassy selfie to new sexist, racist & homophobic premier

DAVE WEASEL WINNIPEG, MB – Brian Bowman sent newly elected premier Brian Pallister a welcome...


Harvard University giving every student A-grades so no feelings get hurt

Harvard University giving every student A-grades so no feelings get hurt

DAVE WEASEL CAMBRIDGE, MA – In an effort to keep every public place populated by...


Man gives up sex for life to vape in a fedora

Man gives up sex for life to vape in a fedora

DAVE WEASEL SAN JOSE, CA – A 32-year-old man has accepted his fate as...


Coachella triples Porta-Potties to mask smell of patrons

Coachella triples Porta-Potties to mask smell of patrons

DAVE WEASEL Indio, CA – After several complains from neighbouring parks and cities, Coachella...


Man issued divorce and assault with weapon charge for giving wife a ‘dutch oven’

Man issued divorce and assault with weapon charge for giving wife a ‘dutch oven’

DAVE WEASEL PHOENIX, AZ – A 33-year-old man is facing criminal charges for holding...